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Welborn, DonMarriage and Divorce ~ The Marriage Vows

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A man under authority. Thank you for the really, I appreciate that, because this is a real help to my voice. Father, we once more wish to acknowledge thy goodness and mercy to us. The rains have fallen in such abundance, nourishing the earth that the ground might bring forth its proper fruit. We thank thee that not only has the rain been in abundance, but thy grace is in such abundance. Help us to appropriate tonight grace that we may expound the scriptures to the glory of our Savior and the good and blessing of all who've come for Christ's sake. Amen. We enter into the sacred grounds of holy matrimony and we get that from the scriptures, though that cultures down to the centuries have had marriage because God instituted it in the beginning. And the idea of the evolution is that Marriage is some sort of a caveman with lots of muscles and a great big club, large on one end, small on the other end for the grip, and dragging some woman by the hair of the head into a cave is just absolutely absurd. When God created Adam, he was a very intelligent person. He was able to name all the cattle of the animals, and those are yet the names thereof. God... created a perfect man. Someone said, well, why did he sin? May I say he was perfect in God's perfect plan of humanity. Having a choice. You see, Adam wasn't forced into sinning. He did so by choice. Eve says the serpent beguiled me and I did eat. And we find that confirmed in New Testament commentary in the second chapter of First Timothy through Paul's writings. The woman being to see was in the transgression. But Adam made a choice between a dead woman and a living God. And you know his choice. And the result has been with us ever since. But thank God it hasn't changed the Lord's purpose in marriage. It is, in fact, the highest relationship on earth. Even that between mothers and children, which are the fruit of their womb, is not as close. as the relationship between husbands and wives. Tonight we want to look at that area of what really fosters the coming together of husband and wife, men and women becoming husband and wife. We looked for two nights at the permanence of marriage, and I think sufficient for that. But now let us look at some portions of Scripture that give us some help in understanding about coming together as men and women to become husband and wife. You'll notice a verse in First Corinthians chapter seven. We looked at that momentarily, but let us go back there again. We're going to spend some time in chapter seven. There are some very important things there. Beginning at verse one, now concerning the things where Avi wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Now the sequence of events, we don't know for sure, but it's likely that the Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the Corinthians and they wrote back. Because you remember in chapter five of this letter that we call first Corinthians, you notice in verse nine he says, I wrote unto you in a letter not to accompany with fornicators. So there's a clear, there's a clear past tense given to us indicative that he had written to them and now in chapter seven the inspired writer, not only has he said in chapter five, I wrote unto you and the Holy Spirit inspired that statement. But now he's inspiring another, now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me. So very likely Paul wrote to them, they wrote back, and now he's answering that in what we call First Corinthians. It's the first one we have, and so rightly so in that sense, but likely First Corinthians is Second Corinthians. Now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me, it's good for a man not to touch a woman. And the word touch comes from the same root stem of the word in the life of our Lord. when Mary rushes up to our Lord in resurrection. Now remember, there's a beautiful thing there. We won't take the time because we'll run completely out of time, but I want you to study it out. Notice that in the twentieth of John, the twentieth of John, when you see Mary involved in that chapter, she never refers to his body one time. Count the times, if you will, starting in chapter twenty, verse one. that she refers to him in the personal pronoun. Count the times. It might be interesting. I think you'll enjoy that study. But she rushes up to him and he says, in the language of our sixteen eleven translations, Touch Me Not. Now it's not because he's a touch me not. You've probably heard that expression since you were a little kid. So and so is a touch me not. Well, the Lord Jesus is not a touch me not. It's not that he couldn't be touched. As a matter of fact, he invited He invited Thomas, reach hither thy finger, behold my hand, and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side, and be not faithless, but believing. And then, of course, in the passage in Luke, that's in John, the passage in Luke, he says, handle me. A spirit has not flesh and bone as you see me have. So he's not saying I'm untouchable, but he's simply saying, you cannot dress me and cling to me like that, Mary. I've not yet ascended unto my Father, and to your Father, to my God, and your God. So our Lord is giving an instruction there. Here's a woman that was so devoted to the Lord Jesus. It wasn't those eleven apostles that were so discerning, brethren. It was a woman. And I used to wonder, I'd read that portion in John twenty of the number of times she refers to him and not his body. And I think, how is it she was so devoted to the Lord? And then, of course, in my daily Bible reading, it takes me through the Scripture every year. And I'd read it many, many times, but it didn't. You know how you can read something and it doesn't click. Then suddenly it clicks. Two different times, the Lord tells us. And when he gives us something twice, I see it in what we call the emphatic construction. And emphatically, he's telling us something about Mary. What is it? Mary out of whom Jesus cast seven demons. In other words, She never got over what he did for her. And wouldn't that be wonderful in our lives if we never really got over what he did for us? And so in all the love of her heart, she rushes up to cling to the Lord. And he's literally saying, stop clinging to me, Mary. You can't do that. I have an unfinished work to do. I've finished one. I've got an unfinished work ahead of me. But the time is coming, beloved, when we'll be able to get a hold of him and touch him and see him and be with him. be like him. Won't that be wonderful? In the interim, you may find this fantastic, but our marriage should be somewhat depicted of that relationship. It's good for a man not to touch a woman. In other words, it's simply saying, as I gave the other night, it's saying in commentary, now let me give the exposition, it's simply saying it's okay to be single. Or you see, in that day, perhaps some had said, well, if a certain person didn't marry, he must be sort of freakish. something's tragically wrong. Well, the Lord is saying, no, no, that's not the case. But he says in verse two, nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband. Now, we can paint all the flowers we like on the picture that we hope to draw. But remember, one of the prime reasons for getting married is to avoid sexual immorality. That's one of the prime reasons. It's said right here, given in a construction that can't be misunderstood as I see it. Now notice, he says, let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband. Benevolence is the idea of giving. And let us complete these verses now. You give me the word that's needed. I'll start out a verse, and then you give me the word that's needed. For God so loved the world that he loved... Agapeo there is linked with diddemy, which means to give. So the two words are linked in a single verse. John's verse, Galatians, I have been and presently I am crucified with Christ. Nevertheless, I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me in the life which I now live in the flesh. I live with the face of the Son of God who loved me and gave. And so once more we see those two words linked together in a single verse giving the character of love. And then, of course, In Ephesians chapter five in verse two, where he says, walk in love as Christ also has loved us and has given himself an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet and loving Savior. And then, of course, in Ephesians five, twenty five, we could all say that when probably husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself for it. So, you know, just even if you're casual in reading the Bible, what do you get? What's the picture that's drawn? Love is giving, isn't it? And, oh, beloved brothers and sisters, if we could get our marriages back to that platform, to that foundation, love is giving. If I really love my wife, I'm going to find this verse, a delightful verse. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband. It's the old saying, what's good for the goose is good for the gander, right? Remember now, this is yes. No. Oh, you'd rather close your eyes. All right, look at the next verse. The wife is not authority of her own body. Power here, not translating dunamis, but power here, translating exusia authority. So the wife is not authority of her own body, but the husband. Likewise, also the husband is not authority of his own body, but the wife. Now, very candidly, and I hope no one is offended, but just to give exposition and sticking with it, what the Lord is saying is, the woman can never say to the husband, Honey, I got a headache. Or the husband can never say to the wife, Honey, I'm tired. As far as the reality of it. Now, she may well have a headache, and he may be dog tired, as we say. But what the Lord is saying here is, I'm giving you instruction so that no one ever... is left out of any need that exists in their life. Now I hope we can learn to appreciate that. It is absolutely, I don't care, you can reason them here to bug scuffle if you want to, but it'll never change this verse. I've heard all kinds of pious things, well, you know, in view and in light of, but listen, beloved brothers and sisters, what we need to do is get back to the plain English of the Word of God. Amen or O me. Amen. God says that the husband has not authority of his own body but the wife. The wife is not authority of her own body but the husband. When we commit ourselves to each other in marriage, I lose the sovereignty of my body to my wife. And she loses the sovereignty of her body to me, her husband. Now, obviously, wisdom is the principal thing. Therefore, get wisdom with all thy getting, get understanding. A little bit of wisdom let you know if your wife's got a headache. Be sensible. Amen. Amen. Or if your husband is dog tired, you know, use a little gumption. I remember your old Dr. Strickland used to say years ago when he was trying to help us young men and get us stirred up, he said, Brethren, it takes three G's to evangelize the world. Grace, gumption, greenback. And that middle one works real good in marriage. And the other two are the flavor on the top, the gray and green. Because it really takes it, doesn't it? It takes all three, doesn't it? Now, when we look at this, let's think of these verses in the light of the three C's that we went over the other night. If you're going to have a good marriage, it's going to take three C's. Number one, communication. We mustn't do like, you remember we referenced that last evening, Isaac and Rebecca. How did they communicate through the kids? Is that good? Pardon my Texas grammar. Uh-uh. That's not very good. What we need to do is learn to go to one another. And in our communication, it needs to be absolutely honest. I mean, the integrity must be above the board. Let me give you a quick scenario. The man says to his wife, Honey, if I said that to my wife, she'd faint. That's not the word we use. Honey, if I've ever hurt you, I'm sure sorry. And she said, Honey, that's all right. Two liars just met. He knew good and well that he hurt her. I mean, let's face it, there ain't no two ways about it. He knew good and well what he did. And he wasn't being honest about it. And the truth is she's as guilty as he. Because she wasn't being honest. It really wasn't all right. She was hurting right down through her toenails. You see, beloved, in our communication, it must be absolute integrity. Well, I thought that, beloved, we don't need to thought. We need to communicate so you don't have to thought. Amen? I mean, it needs to be just right straight across the board. Now, it needs to be with grace, season with salt. It needs to be lovingly. Everything we say or do ought to be in love in the Christian life. What about when we go to the bedroom to thank the kiddos? That's to be in love. Whom the Lord loves. He chasens. We have the sordid idea that discipline is some warfare type of thing. Beloved, that couldn't be farther from the truth. Whom the Lord loves. He loves us. He's not in warfare with us. God is not at war with us at all. So think of this, of when you dialogue, remember love demands that we communicate. God so loved the world. What did he do? He communicated. In what way? He sent his son. He rushed him to Calvary's Hill, had him slain there to prove his love, redeem us, and raise him up the third day that he might justify us. What a marvelous thing. And so in our marriage relationship, we have to remember that when we commit ourselves to each other, Will you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to having the hope of this day forward for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health and for saking, all of us keep you only under her, so long as you both shall live. Yes, sir. And that's what I did. That night that we got married, I had never done that before. I mean, that was a brand new thing. And boy, I'll tell you what, I wouldn't tell her then because pride would about kill me to have said it. But I was scared spitless. Man, a life. Here I am saying, yes. I mean, I've lived all these years alone, and suddenly I'm going to be anchored in with somebody. See? But, beloved, remember, it's God's institution, and it's far good. You go back to Genesis chapter two, and he said, it's not good that the man should be alone. I said, amen, Lord. Amen. It's not good. I need a wife and I need my wife. And so I said, yes, I will. And then, of course, he asked her, and I, you know, we took the blood test. Back in Texas, you had to have a blood test. And so they did the blood test. And of course, you have to pay for that. It's not free over there. And then we got these certificates from the blood lab after we had paid the bill. And then we were able to go to the county courthouse and use those certificates. Now, that didn't buy the marriage license. that along with some more money. And so we had to pay out some more money and get a marriage license. And then we stood before the preacher, the Baptist preacher, and he said, Donald, would you take glory to be your lovely wedded wife? And when I finally was able to say, yes, sir, we're still not married. The blood has been shed, the price has been paid twice. And I said, yes, I'll take her. And she's still not mine. You know why? The woman always has the last word. Gloria, will you take Donald? Boy, there's where the iron did hang. Heaven help us, huh? And she said yes. Praise the Lord. I'll tell you what, it's been a tremendous little journey, and I just wouldn't take... There's nothing in the world that could pay for it. It's just... Who's so? Finds a good thing. She's my thing, and I really appreciate her. And I've got to have my thing over there. That's right, that's for sure. But beloved, the kind of love that's necessary, the ingredient that's absolutely mandatory in a good marriage is the kind of love that's giving and the kind of love that communicates. The three C's. Communication, consideration, and then finally, cooperation. We want our wives to cooperate. Brethren, let's love them. Let's communicate with them. Let's show consideration. And usually, usually they'll come around. If you want, if you want really homemade biscuits, I heard a fellow tell about this, flunk. You ever hear about the flunk? The man's out doing his walking one morning. He kept hearing, flunk. As he walked down the road, of course, those days that still had the doors open, just the screen door closed, flunk. What was it? It's right after those canned biscuits came in. Those women getting up in the morning going, flump, breaking those things open. See, now you know what the flump is. But you, brethren, want some, I mean some biscuits made from scratch, some of them good old drop biscuits we used to get, you know. The homemade kind, then just a little bit of communication and consideration. Then you'll have the cooperation. And so here we notice that in verse four he's giving us something concerning the body that has to do with the sexual side of life obviously. Notice in verse five, defraud you not one, the other except that we would consent for a time that you may give yourselves the golfing and fishing and come together again that Satan, it wasn't golfing and fishing and it wasn't cooking and sewing. Beloved, the Lord brings it before our mind so clearly that it's unmistakable. that you may give yourself to fasting and prayer. In other words, what he's saying is, intimacy is a normal part of the marriage relationship. Now, there was a philosophy that came into our country many years ago. Some have called it, some psychologists have called it, I don't put too much stock in that, but anyway, some psychologists have called it the Victorian concept, that sex was a dirty thing, but it was a necessary evil to sort of hatch along... one or two children and then after all after that done then it's laid over in the corner now may i say that is as unscriptural as to say that the lord jesus and the devil sing a duet that second corinthians chapter six you remember what concord is christ with belial that's the expression there it's so wrong it has produced some bad fruit right up to our ears in our country And what we've got to do is go back and show that God has designed the marriage relationship in its totality to be the picture, pictorial rather, of Christ in the assembly. The example for us is Christ in the assembly. But we should be reflecting that as a picture here on earth. And so he says, defraud you, not one, the other, except that people can sin. In other words, you do not refrain from your intimate life unless... It's agreed on by both. That is to say, the husband and the wife have agreed. And then it's for a spiritual purpose, obviously. Fasting and prayer. And then it says, come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your lack of self-control. I don't want to be saying this in an accusatory way, but I want to say it in a declarative way. Here it is. I'm afraid all of us have weak points. And the devil seems to know more than a lot of preachers give him credit for knowing. I mean, you hear a few preachers you think that the devil is some dumb wit or, you know, some dumb bunny that knows, he doesn't know, but split beans and coffee. See. But may I say, he seems to know how to attack Adam and Eve. That's enough to tell me something. And he seems to know how to attack people today. And so the Lord is saying that we in our marriage relationship should so sacredly guard that area of our life. Every area, every dimension. But he's highlighting the intimate physical relationship so that we are not in a weak condition falling into a trap and wrecking our lives. I do not know, very frankly, a time in our country when there's more permissive sexual immorality than tonight. I mean, absolutely. It's permitted. People are wanting to get involved. As a matter of fact, it came over KRLD. That's a local Dallas radio station. It's a twenty-four hour. And just a while back, they gave a statistic indicating of the people that were polling. Now, God only knows who they're polling. But anyway, of the people that they told, they found a very high percent of the women that felt they needed an extra marital relationship to be normal. Where do you think that came from? I tell you, Brother Willie, pardon me, and I probably don't even qualify to be here speaking, but I get so mad. I mean, I want to go out with a pair of brass knucks and start. Excuse me, maybe you want to usher me out the door, but it upsets me no end to think, and I'm convinced that that wicked soap opera stuff has seated the minds of millions of women and gotten them to think, program them wrong, to think wrong things. I've been told that when computers put out wrong information, it's mostly because they've been programmed wrong. Garbage in and garbage out. Now, it's not just women. Look at the other side. It is so clear that men are feeding on pornography, and it shows up so often that one case a while back, I was asked to listen to a tape. I was in Canada having meetings. I said, Brother Don, we want you to hear this thing. It will be very informative. You need to hear it. I didn't really want to, but they taught me. I listened to it. And I can hardly believe the garbage that men are paying for and reading and corrupting their minds. I don't have to read anything. God gave me a wife. And from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet, she's ever bit mine. And that's all I need right there. Amen, brethren? That's all. I don't need any pictures. I don't need any calendars. What I need is my wife. And God so designed her in His infinite wisdom that every area of my life, intellectual, emotional, physical, social, the whole experience of humanity and human life function, she's designed to make sure she's the commensurate or counterpart for me in every detail. And I cannot overemphasize, beloved, the value of virginity and is just as important for men as it is for women. You've heard for years, well, the woman being an a virgin, but the trouble is this. The emphasis had been put so strong on the woman being a virgin until it's all right for the men to be immoral. And little wonder, marriages are suffering. Now, I'm not saying if you have been immoral, class of marriage that you can't have a good marriage. I'm not saying that. I'm saying, though, You walk up to the plate with two strikes against you. That is to say, you enter into it with some degree of hindrance. Now, I've had people argue. You make that statement, then people are going to argue with you. But here's what I do in answer. I say, okay, what's God's program? And when you look at God's program, it's virgin for virgin. That's the only reason he allowed a divorce in the Old Testament. You remember it. We won't go back into that, but in Deuteronomy twenty-four, he permitted a man because of the hardness of his heart to put away his wife because he bargained for a virgin. He didn't get one. Had to be proven. However, beloved, I will say this, that if in fact this has happened in your life, the thing to do is come before the Lord and receive that wonderful, heavenly forgiveness and cleansing. Now, it's so important to accept both. Are you forgiven? Yes. But they go around cripple. What's wrong? They didn't accept the cleansing. And God does both. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If the forgiveness restores the fellowship, beloved, what does the cleansing do? Restores the conscience. And thank God there's marriage for all in that sense. Marriage is honorable. The Bible says in all. And the bet on defile. But quanticators and adulterers, God will judge. So if, in fact, there has been some fall in our life, then thank God we can be forgiven and cleansed and go on. But let's always remember that we go into it less than God had programmed. And so be prepared, be prepared, in your mind, in your heart, that you're going to make adjustments for that. Or you see, if, in fact, I get my right hand cut off in a drunken brawl, and I'm a surgeon and I'm really right-handed. You can understand that I'm going to be greatly impaired in my surgery. So if I go back into the surgical room, I have to remember that I still don't have my left at my right hand. I just got my left. And I'm not saying that if you have had a moral fall prior to marriage, that it's just going to be almost a wreck. No, no, no. Some of the great marriages of our day are people who have been to the bottom and back. but they went into it in wisdom. For you see, when I receive a wife, if I have been immoral myself, and I receive a wife who has not been immoral, then she's going to have to learn to have compassion on me, because I go into the relationship with those things still in my life. You said, well, Donald, I thought a while ago you said, God forgave you, and God cleansed you. Let's look at forgiveness, and let's look at cleansing. First place, the word forgiveness is the word of theentine. Apo is a preposition meaning away from. That's A-P-O. He me is a verb that means to sin. So when God forgives us, beloved, he sends it away. It's gone. You've heard that old saying, haven't you? Well, I'll forgive him, but I'll never forget it. Remember here that? That's as unchristian as the pit. Beloved, now what the Lord is teaching us is this, that when he forgives, he sends it away. And in cleansing... He washes our defile conscience. But it doesn't say we forget it. And guess who's going to keep reminding you? The devil. Don't you ever forget that he'll remind you. But what you can always do. And I don't ever recommend dialoguing with Satan. I think that's wicked myself. You can believe what you... I hear people say, well, you know, you talk to the devil. You tell him off. No, sir. I'm going to talk to my Lord. You can talk to the devil all you wish to. But beloved myself, I'm going to the Lord. At that time when he reminds me of my sins, we're going to say, Lord, thank you, you forgave me and cleanse me. So that when you have married a person who has been pure and moral purity and maybe you have not, then he or she is going to have to have compassion on you. Vice versa, you marry someone that has been morally impure and you have been, pure will say, then you must have compassion on that one. And that's what I believe you find in the story of Hosea. You remember in Hosea? He married a woman. Now, some don't agree with this, but this is as I see it. Since it's my night to speak, then tomorrow night you can... Okay? I believe that he did literally what it says. Go take a wife who was a prostitute. A fornication. And so I believe he did marry a woman like that. They had a little family. The day came when she ran off with her lovers. How much time had... passed from the time that she left the home until Hosea found her on an auction block being auctioned off as a slave. No one knows. God doesn't tell us. Maybe it was ten years. Who knows? But one day the preacher, God's man, was out there and he saw a crowd of people. They're auctioning off a woman. And he gets near. Guess what? It's Gomer. And he got in the bidding. And he outbid everybody. And he bought her to himself. beloved and you know what here she is all bound up on the auction block and he bought her and he bought her to himself and then he freed her and that's all three dimensions of the positive side of the doctrine of redemption the price the power and the perfection the price the blood of Christ the power to free us from that law and free us from our sins and the perfection salutes us from the cause of iniquity so that we might serve the best of all masters and so he was willing to forgive her and so likewise that's why that God provided this area of divorce for the Israelites under the law because sometimes men were unwilling to forgive a woman who had had a weakness in her character isn't it strange you might say well what about the weakness in the men's character I hear women say that nearly all the time I said look I didn't write the book, but God would just read it. God wrote it. But there's one thing clear from the beginning. He never wanted a broken home, ever. Ever. Nothing could be more clear. You'll notice also in this chapter, he gives us three reasons why a person should think of not getting married. Now, it's almost not, I'm not trying to say he contradicts himself like at the beginning. He's suggesting marriage and then later he's almost contradicting that. I'm just saying he's saying before you get married, there are three things you should consider. Let's look at them tonight, if we will. He says in verse twenty-six, I suppose, therefore, that this is good for the present distress. I say that it is good for a man. So to be. Are thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loose. Are thou loose from a wife? Seek not a wife. But if thou marries, thou is not sin. And if a virgin marries, she is not sin. Nevertheless, such shall have trouble in the flesh. But I spare you. You've been to those fiftieth wedding anniversaries. I'm sure some of you have. Maybe all of you have. The moderator is up and he's telling about the wonderful experiences they've had. Then he gives a chance for them to say a few words. And finally you'll hear this little boy say, you know, well, said we've been married fifty years and never had a problem. Oh, beloved, don't you ever believe that? Don't you ever believe that? Why? Because the Word of God said, Such shall have trouble in the flesh. But I spare you. So let us enter into the marriage relationship with some degree of intelligence. Lord, we're going to have some trouble. Now, that doesn't mean you put on your boxing gloves, eight ounce, you know. That doesn't mean you're getting ready to crawl in the ring with somebody for a big fight. Incidentally, we heard of a marriage, and this is not supposed to be just a joke. This is supposed to be a really happen. Right after the wedding was consummated there, as far as the wedding ceremony is concerned, and they have this march going out, somebody ever didn't pick up the wrong music, and they played the fight is on. The fight is on. It was a mistake, I'm sure. And it brought a bunch of lads. But you know how you can have your sheet music over there and turn to the wrong page and start playing. I mean, I guess the person was really watching and first thing you know, the fight is over. But, pardon me, the Lord says that we're going to have trouble in the flesh. Now, it's just ill-conceived in the mind that two people who are totally different could come together in a one-flesh union and not have some difficulty. But that never really concerns me so much. if people have difficulties is what concerns me is do they know how to resolve the difficulties. That's what's really important. The Lord says we're going to have them. Expect there to be some conflict. And that doesn't mean that once more you have to crawl in the ring like Joe Lewis with a pair of gloves on. But it does mean we will have difficulties. Now that we have the Lord in our heart and life is the solution. He is the solution. So often we don't let him be that solution. But obviously he is the solution. Because when he's Lord of all, we bow to his lordship. Then every problem that comes can be resolved. The Lord faced problems in his life, didn't he? Now, I'm not even bordering on this thing of him sinning. He never sinned. And he could not sin. But he faced difficulties. As a matter of fact, when he's in the garden, it says he was sore. And some translations say distressed. And even some translations say that he was... And there's a word that I'm trying to think of right, and depressed. Anybody ever read the Darby translation, the J.N. Darby? I think it's in the J.N. Darby translation. But what he's saying is he was of heavy heart. Now is my soul troubled. There it is. Another expression. So the Lord faced the difficulties. So facing the difficulties is not the big thing. How do we resolve them? That's what's most important. And we have a divine authority here on resolving all of our conflicts. Now, a second one that you need to consider is the time is short. But this I say, brethren, the time is short. Now, let me tell you, if you've got a good marriage, you just don't have enough time. I can guarantee that. If you've got a good marriage, beloved, you just never have enough time to do all the things you'd like to do together and blend your life together. But if you've got a sour one, I mean ten minutes is too much. See what I'm saying? The time is short, but it remains that both they that have wives be as though they had none, and they that weep as though they weep not, and they that rejoice as though they rejoice not, and they that buy as though they possess not. And they that use this world as not abusing it for the fashion of this world passes away. But I would have you without carefulness. Now here we're coming down to the third one. Notice what it's saying. I'd have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord. I may please the Lord. let's think momentarily now a person is not married he or she they're contemplating married they're considering it shouldn't they consider these three things such shall have trouble in the flesh time is short thirdly you cannot serve without some measure of distraction look what it's saying here he that is married cares for the things that are of the world how you may please his wife there's a difference also between a wife and a virgin The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she that is married careth for the things of the world. How she may please her husband. So you can see then that the person who is a child of God cannot serve without some measure of distraction because they have the care and responsibility of their spouse. And rightly so, because this is God's institution. He gives us, He equips us with everything we need to go into it in a loving way so that two lives blend as one. They too should be one flesh, but the two lives blend as one. Let me illustrate that with just a kind of little country saying, if I can. Haven't you seen this or heard this at one of those celebrations where people have been married a long time and they're really celebrating that and honoring them? Uncle Zebe and Aunt Josephine, they even look alike. You know what I've said? You've heard that. They look alike. Well, let me say this. I really believe there's something to them. Now I realize he's a male, and I realize that she's a female. They've been married for fifty years. Let me tell you, they're not like Miss America anymore. Let's face that. Amen? I mean, or OV. Anyway. However, the point is this. They have garnered the things that God has given them and blended their lives together in such a way. They take on a lightness of each other, and that's beautiful. That's to be commended. And I think that our lives, brothers and sisters, we ought to have such love and devotion for each other and such care. He that cares for his wife. He that cares for her husband. We should have such care for one another that we learn to sort of breathe together. And when people see us, they see us somewhat alike. because God has enabled us to blend our lives together to honor our Lord Jesus Christ. I think that's godly and holy and right, frankly. Now, as much as we can see in chapter seven, there's much more that we want to cover later, I want us to jump from this point in a springboard fashion over to Ephesians chapter five. Ephesians chapter five. You remember he says, this is the only place in the New Testament this statement is made. Made one time and at one time only. Verse eighteen. And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit. Literally translated, and I hope you don't mind making a note in your margin, it's literally, but be filled in Spirit. The word be is not there, and with is literally in. Be filled in Spirit. Three evidences of being filled are given to us here in verses nineteen through twenty one. Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your hearts to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Three evidences of being filled in spirit with the Holy Spirit are, number one, speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, and the clue? singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. When your singing is to the Lord, the Spirit is in control. Secondly, giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father. Here's the clue in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Now, I know I tread on very, very, very, what shall I say, shaky ground. But I want to say it anyway, because I want you to chew on it a bit. at the end of our prayer or praise to say, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, doesn't necessarily mean it's in his name. That expression is representative of the person and his authority. And so, here he says, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we can give thanks always to God for all things, in the person, representative of his person and his authority. Then, beloved, that's what that means. And that's another evidence of the Spirit in control. And certainly, and this is the one that prefaces the next statement that we're going to go into, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Now, letting that be the platform, look what he says. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as unto the Lord. You may not agree with this, but I want to suggest this. The only time this expression is found in the New Testament, be filled in spirit, or be filled with the spirit if you like that better, I won't argue, is found right here, prefacing the husband-wife relationship. I think if we want to have a successful marriage, we must allow the spirit of the living God to be in control in our lives because, you see, we are sinners. who have been saved with the grace of God through faith. And sin is still in dwelling us. You remember the apostle could say, for the good that I would I do not. That which I would not. That I do. If then I do that which I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find that a law or rule or axiom, what is it, Paul, that when I would do good, evil is present with me. Finally, in almost dilemma, he cries out, Oh, wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from this body of death? And then the answer is given. Not into chapter eight, but in chapter seven, he said, I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. When the Spirit of God is in control in our lives, beloved, he's always bringing Christ before us. Our Lord is set before us. We have our eyes on him. And let me tell you, if I've got my eyes on the Lord, I'm not going to mistreat that woman right there. You mark that down in your little book. It's worth keeping. If she's got her eyes on her Lord, she's not going to be mistreating me. You can count on me. Now, a woman having this kind of authority from God, it means he's designed this for her good. Wives, commit yourselves with your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the assembly, and he's the savior of the body. Brother Paul has given me the three-minute warning, and so we've got about two or three minutes here to wind this down. He's giving me the signal. But notice here he's saying, therefore is the assembly a subject unto Christ, so let their wives be to their own husbands and everything. Now, some would tell you that that's absolute, and that whatever he says, she's got to do. Beloved, tomorrow night we're going to see that in truth. Come back, same time, same station. We're going to look for that and we'll have to end. I think our time is up right now. Brother Paul gave me this evening. Can somebody check on that? Do we have another minute or two? Who will do that for me? We've got another minute. All right, all right. We've got a reprieve. That's grace, okay? Notice then that if the husband should say to the wife, I want you to do thus and so. Well, some have said this is absolute. No alteration. Let's see if it is. Hold your place here. Look at Acts chapter four and Acts chapter five for a very quick reading. In chapter four, Peter and John had been apprehended. Verse thirteen, when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, see that there were unlearned and ignorant men, they marveled and they took knowledge of them that they had been with Jesus and beholding the man. which was healed standing with them, they could say nothing against it and so on. Now notice in verse eighteen, and they called them and commended them not to speak at all or teach in the name of Jesus. You'll notice that the authority of our Lord in Luke twenty four, he told the disciples that repentance and remission of sins was to be preached in his name among all nations beginning at Jerusalem. And he said, your martyrs are witnesses of these things. So now what we have is a conflict of authority because in Romans thirteen the word of God said let every soul be subject unto the higher power. Well there's no power but of God. The power that be ordained of God. Whoever therefore resists the power resists the ordinance of God and brings to himself judgment and so on and you know the passage. So if we are to bow to the authorities and the authority tells us