Now we're going to study problems of human relationships. And these are four, as the sub-Eddings, as the divisions indicate, the problem of deceit, the problem of pride, of resentment, and of selfishness. Well, that's not to say these are all of them, but I think almost any other problem can be incorporated under one of these four headings. I felt necessary to have this many. Let's take number one, the problem of deceit. One is originated with Satan. We're told in First Timothy two and fourteen that the woman being deceived was in the transgression. And in Revelation twenty and ten, you have the last mention of Satan as the deceiver. It says the devil that deceived them was cast into the lake of fire. Now he's called the deceiver at least two other times in the book of the Revelation. But one of the names for Satan then is deceiver. It originated with Satan. He's called a liar and the father of it. Number two, it is inherent in the human race. This is another way of saying that we are totally depraved. We studied the depravity of man in one of our studies. This is another way of saying it. Every human being is inherently deceitful. A, our hearts are deceitful. Jeremiah seventeen nine, the heart of man is deceitful, above all things, and desperately wicked. And that word desperately means impurably wicked. Now the fond mamas don't like to think that their little babies have that kind of an evil nature, but it's there. Just give the a little monster enough time. He'll soon prove to you that he's got exactly the same kind of deceitfulness in his heart that his parents and his grandparents have all the way back to Adam and Eve. Our hearts are deceitful. In Mark seven, we're told that out of the heart proceed, and he mentions all of these evil things, including deceit. Now my grandfather used to try to get around these things by saying, well, you can't help what you think. You're not responsible for your evil thoughts. He said, you can't keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep building nests in your hair, he called it. He was from Kentucky. Well, let me tell you something. These birds aren't flying over your head. They're flying out of your heart. That's what the seventh of Mark said. This isn't something that comes from the exterior and attacks it. This is part of our inherent evil nature. And B, our mouths are used to deceive. With their tongues they've used deceit, Romans v. Thirteen says. And in Ephesians four twenty-five he exhorts the Christians that they should be putting away lying. Now you can't put away lying unless you've been in the habit of lying. It seems strange that in one of the most spiritual books of the New Testament, the book of Ephesians, he'd tell Christians to stop lying. If it wasn't necessary, he wouldn't have put it there. And see, we are easily deceived. This is a strange thing that all deceivers are vulnerable in this very area we are easily deceived Romans sixteen eighteen says they deceive the hearts of the simple and second Timothy three thirteen speaks about deceiving and being deceived and this is typical of the human race now we've got we've got polite names for it we call it the credibility gap the credibility gap means he's a liar That's what it means. And it's exactly true. David said in the Psalms, I said in my haste, all men are liars. This is the situation. And D, we even deceive ourselves. First Corinthians three eighteen, let no man deceive himself, he says. And Galatians six and three says of a man thinks himself to be something. When he is nothing, he deceives himself. Now, don't you think yourself to be something? Well, don't tell me. Just admit it in your own spirit, and you'll understand what God means. He says in First John chapter one, that if a person says that he has no sin, he deceives himself. He doesn't fool anybody else. The people around you know that you have sin and your nature, because they see the results of it coming out. But you can actually fool yourself into thinking that you have no sinful nature. And E, there are religious deceivers. James one, twenty-two and twenty-six speaks about deceiving their own hearts. And he says such people's religion is vain. And in Second Corinthians eleven, thirteen, he talks about false apostles, deceitful workers. He said they are transformed into the ministers of light, but they are really the ministers of Satan. So there are plenty of religious deceivers as well. And number three, this is commonly condoned and excused. This is commonly condoned and excused. A. Called white lies. Now if you see a sign out in front of a restaurant, no dogs allowed. Do you think you'll get by taking your little dog in because he's white? This is perfectly ridiculous. What's a white lie? No such thing as a white lie? All lies are as black as hell. They come from Satan himself. But we excuse this. B, they're said to avoid offending. I read an advice in a column in the paper the other day. Should I tell my dear old grandma the truth? Why, no, of course, don't tell grandma the truth. Why offend her? It's all right to tell her little lies because it'll make her happy. This is the attitude of the world toward toward deceitfulness and then see it is called playing games it's quite a popular book written by a psychiatrist called games which people play you know what that book's about it's about how people deceive each other husbands and wives deceiving each other employers and employees deceiving each other they call it games which people play This is what God calls it. God calls it deceit. And D, we rationalize it away. I say we. You've done it and I've done it. We like to make out like it really isn't too serious. It's all well intended. And yet God says that this is one of the problems of human relationships. The reason that husbands and wives do not get along with each other is that they don't level with each other. They cannot be trusted. They do not say exactly what they believe. Husbands and wives will be married for ten years. And all of a sudden, she will find out that the food that she's been feeding him gagged him, but he never would say that he didn't like the stuff because he didn't want to hurt her feelings, or he had said sometimes that he liked some that his mother cooked. So he doesn't dare to say to his wife, I don't like this stuff, don't feed me any more of it. And she finds out after a while, why? Because we live deceitful lives. Christians are a great problem getting along with each other. because we are not thoroughly honest. That doesn't mean that you have to blot out everything that comes into your evil heart, but it means that when it comes right down to the nitty-gritty of things, you ought to be able to talk together and understand each other and know where you stand. Well, give that some thought. Let's go on to the second section. The problem of pride. Number one, originated with Satan. Ezekiel twenty-eight in verse seventeen. He says, thy heart was lifted up because of thy beauty. You'll understand how serious pride is when you know this is what caused the fall of Lucifer. And First Timothy three and six says that you should not put one who has newly come to the faith into a responsible position of shepherding the flock of God because he will be lifted up with pride and fall into the condemnation of the devil. So pride was the condemnation of the devil. Number two, it has been called the besetting sin of good people. That sounds strange to you? Well, when a person is better than the average, behaves better than the average, does more nice things for other people than the average, he's likely to have more pride than the average. I've given you two examples which you can study. and B Hezekiah. Well, these were both good men. The Lord said about Job that he was an upright man, that he was one who turned away from evil. He had many nice things to say about Job. But Job's problem was that he was a proud man. And Hezekiah went on well for God, and then God just left him to himself for a little while as a test. And the result was that he was lifted up with pride. After a lifetime of useful service, we never get to where we're immune to this evil. Number three, it is in all our hearts. Mark seven, twenty-two. We've already referred to the seventh mark, where he says that from within, out of the heart of man, proceeds, and among other things, he says, pride. So pride is not a temptation from the devil. Pride is an evil in your own nature. Be it is the sole cause, the only cause of contention. Now, you can get an argument almost any time by making that statement, but all you have to do is to read these verses that I've given you from the book of Proverbs. In Proverbs thirteen and ten, he states, unequivocably, only by pride cometh contention. And in the twenty-eighth chapter he says, he that is proud of heart stireth upstrike. Let me show you how this is true. It is not difficult at all to get along with a humble person, because a humble person doesn't want to contend. A humble person doesn't feel that he is in a position to contend. And a humble person is not attempting to establish his reputation by proving that he knows how to contend. See, it's by pride that contention comes. The difficulties among Christians. Well, he ignored me. Well, who are you? Well, I'm important. You see, it's pride. He didn't give me a chance to have a part in that. Why should you have a part in it? Because of pride. There was a young fellow who was preaching on humility and he kept saying over and over again, I have nothing to be proud of, I'm nothing. So after the meeting he said to the old man that he was preaching with, he said, how did I do tonight? He turned and looked at him and said, well, you're nothing. And the young fellow got terribly offended. See, that's how hypocritical our hearts are. It's easy to get up and say, I'm nothing, but don't you say it. You'll find it in your own heart and you won't have to look very far either. See, it causes us to fall. Proverbs sixteen, eighteen, pride goes before destruction and an haughty spirit before a fall. John Bunyan wrote a little poem, if you can call it that. Most of his poems were kind of like doggirl, but they had a lot of good sense in them. And one of the things that he says is, He that is down need fear, no fall. So that when you get too high and mighty, that's when you're in real danger. Now B, it brings sorrow to the spiritual. In Jeremiah thirteen, Jeremiah exhorted the people, Be not proud. And then he said, My soul shall weep in secret for your pride. One of the things that caused Jeremiah to be known as the weeping prophet was the pride of the people. Tell me he ministered the word. Eve, it makes us independent of God. Psalm ten and verse four. The wicked through pride of countenance will not seek God. And then he adds, God is not in all their thoughts. So pride makes us independent of God. And I say us, even as Christians, I would go so far as to say, brothers, that if you start a day without prayer, this is an indication of pride. The very fact that you think that you can make it without God, without calling upon Him, without looking to Him for help, this is an indication of pride. And S, it makes us critical of the righteous. Psalm thirty-one and eight, which speak grievous things proudly and contemptuously against the righteous. Now, subdivision four, it tops the lists of things which God hates. Proverbs six, these six things, doth the Lord hate, yea, seven, and then he starts out by saying, a proud look, lying tongue, and so on. Whenever God lists the things which he hates, he puts pride at the top of the list. Why? A, pride is sin. I will break the pride of your power. And in Isaiah two, lofty looks shall be humbled. And B, God will judge it. God will judge pride. He's promised that he will do this. The proud and heart are an abomination to the Lord. A high look and a proud heart, he says, are sin. So he's got to judge these things, and he will judge them. And number five, the wicked approve pride. In Malachi three, He says, you call the proud happy. And in second Timothy he says, within the last days perilous time shall come, men shall be proud. You often hear people say, well you need a certain amount of pride. What do they mean? We say, well, Whatever else you have to say against him, he certainly was a proud man, as though this was commendable. He was a man that held his head high. What about? The Apostle Paul, in writing to the Corinthians, says, What do you have that you didn't receive? What about our blessed Lord himself? He said, Take my yoke upon you and learn in me, for I am meek and low in heart, and ye shall find rest, your soul. The Lord Jesus was the very epitome of lowliness. Now, can we excuse pride? Can we say that pride is all right when he had none? Now, the third section, the problem of resentment. One, let me give you a definition for it. Indignant displeasure at assumed insult or injury. I took that out of the dictionary. I think it's pretty good. Resentment is indignant displeasure at assumed insult or injury. We assume that he hurt us. We assume that he meant to insult us. and so we are indignant. This is resentment. One of the biggest problems getting along with other people is that they resent so many things. Number two, the fault may lie with either or both persons. Let me give you a nice verse from First Peter, chapter three. Love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous. Now, A, if courteous, we will not give offense. Do you know why we offend people? Do you know why people resent us? Because we are not courteous. You can save yourself the price of a book on etiquette by remembering one simple little thing. Etiquette is courtesy. You don't have to know which fork to use. All you have to know is just to be courteous to other people. And that is good reading. That is good etiquette. And it is good Christianity. If you're courteous, you will not give offense and if pitiful we will not take offense you see what we do is pity ourselves if we pitted the other person in his offensive ways there wouldn't be this resentment against another person now number three Resentment may be based on a misunderstanding. First Corinthians four and verse five has to do with motives. And this is what it says. Judge nothing before the time when the Lord shall come. Then it says he shall make manifest the hidden counsels of the heart. Have you ever heard anybody say this? Well, that's what he said, but I know what he really meant. Or I know she does a lot of nice things, but I know why she doesn't. Well, this is the most common thing among Christians, and it is nothing in the world but misjudging motives. It's a terrible sin. And the misunderstandings come as a result of this. And B, tail bearing. Resentment may be based on tail bearing. In Proverbs twenty-six and twenty, he says, Where there is no tail bearer, the strife ceases. It's just that simple. And First Corinthians twelve and twenty, he talks about backbiting. That's a very dramatic word. I'm sorry that was dropped from the English language. It's an archaic word that was used back when the King James Version was translated in sixteen hundred. But it's a good word, backbiting. That's biting his back, you know, taking a nip at him when he's got his back turned, like a feist dog. How many Christians there are who spend their time nipping at each other when the person's back is turned? Now this will cause resentment. What you need to do is to overlook this as somebody does it to you and see that you don't do it to them. I found that you can stop a tail bear very quickly. Just take out your pencil and piece of paper and say, now what was that he said? And right away he gets he gets he gets kinky. What are you going to do there? Well, I want to get this straight down. What was he said? Well, he said so-and-so, and you put it down and say, now, will you sign this? Well, indeed I will not. Well, then, fair it up. That'll cure them. And we ought to do this. We owe it to our brethren to stop resentment by stopping tail bearing. And then, see, bitterness. Resentment may be based on bitterness. Ephesians four, thirty-one, be kind-hearted, be kind, tender-hearted, forgiving one another. And Hebrews twelve warns that a root of bitterness springing up will trouble you. Let me tell you something. If you feel resentment toward another Christian, that bitterness which you carry in your heart is like acid. And acid will eat up the vessel you carry it in, just the same as it'll eat up whatever you pour it on. Now think that over a little bit. If you carry bitterness in your own soul, it will eat you out. They say ulcers are caused not by what you eat, but by what eats you. And this is a problem of human relationships, resentment towards somebody. and a bitterness that causes that. And last of all, an unloving spirit. Resentment based on an unloving spirit. First Corinthians thirteen says, Love thinketh no evil. There's another verse that says, Charity covers a multitude of sins or faults. Galatians five tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is love. So if the Spirit of God is having his way in your spirit, in your life, you are not going to be resentful. Now let's take this last one, the problem of selfishness. I suppose I might have just taken this one and included all the others in it, because one, selfishness is behind every sin. You take the Ten Commandments. Why does a person not honor God? Selfishness. He becomes his own God. Why does a person steal from another or covet another's possessions? Selfishness. Why does a person harm another person, violate him sexually? Selfishness. Why does a person kill another person? Selfishness. He's in my road. Sin is behind, I mean selfishness is behind every sin. A. For your iniquities have you sold yourselves. Isaiah fifty in verse one. For your iniquities have you sold yourselves. Now just think of it. I am so selfish. I want what I want so badly that I will actually sell myself to get it. Isn't this desperate? And B, men shall be lovers of their own selves. Second Timothy three, two. Now second, the world has two chief drives. I'm using the word drive here as is commonly used by the psychologist. A desire for vain glory and B covetousness which is idolatry. Now these are the two things that the world is for to be somebody and to get something. Isn't that selfishness? Why do I want to be number one? Why were James and John so anxious to sit in the two chief places alongside the Lord Jesus in the kingdom? And when they voiced this desire, why were the rest of the disciples so angry at them? Because they've wanted the same two seats. And the world's filled with this kind of thing. And if we're not careful, we as Christians are going to be involved in it. This is why it's hard to get along with other Christians, as well as other people, because of our inherent selfishness. We both want the same thing. And number three, contrast the selfless life of our Lord. Just let me make five statements about him. A, he came not of himself. That is, he was sent. He did not decide for himself to come. He came not of himself. B, he spoke not of himself or from himself. He didn't say just what he thought. He came bearing a message from his father. C, he pleased not himself. I think that's the greatest rebuke to our own selfishness that I can think of. If the Lord Jesus wasn't selfish, then certainly it can't be right for me to be. And D, He sanctified Himself for us. And E, He gave Himself for our sins. Take these over and I'm sure that you will love the Lord and appreciate him. It will help you to avoid some of these common causes for problems in human relationships.