Nicholson, J B: Speaking Of The Family-03 ~ Subject Study

I have to admit, that's good singing. You almost sound like you believe it. As we were singing that last hymn, I couldn't help but remember an incident in the life of Bishop Lee. Uh, he, he fled a Christian home, and as he left home, he said, I never want to hear that name Jesus again. And he ran off to sea, and he lived with a bunch of scoundrels. And, uh, as they traveled along the coast of Africa, they came to a spot where two of his compatriots said, uh, we have heard that there are some gold mines in the heart of Africa, and we're going to s- jump ship, and we're going to go and get our fortune. And they persuaded the man who became Bishop Lee to leave with them, and uh, they got a couple of uh, Africans to lead them into the, into the jungle, and they were a couple of days travel towards the interior when the two other men took fever and died. And the two guides ran off and left him there alone in the heart of Africa. And he started to follow a river back towards the coast when he was captured by some cannibals, and they took him to this, uh, hut. They locked him in the hut. They would feed him every day. They were fattening him up for the kill, he was sure of it, and he was keeping track of the days, and he discovered on this particular day it was Easter Sunday, and they came, and they took him, and they dragged him down, uh, a corridor of posts on which were the skulls of human beings, and they dragged him into the presence of the king of that area, the chief, and they dropped him unceremoniously on the ground. He was sure it was the last day of his life. And in halting English, the chief said to him, can you tell us about Jesus? And right there in the dust, he cried out to the Lord to save him. Stanley had been there before and had introduced this chief to the Lord Jesus, but hadn't really explained anything about him. And Bishop Lee became a missionary to those very cannibals where he thought he was going to be dinner. I tell you, you can run away from your father, but you can't run away from your father's God. And how many stories we've heard of prodigals who've tried to get away from the gospel, and, uh, eventually the gospel gets them too. Well, uh, this evening we're going to be thinking, uh, through some sections in Ephesians and Colossians, so please turn with me to, uh, Ephesians chapter five. We have a couple of questions to be answered this evening from the word, and, um, let me just introduce to you what I hope to be looking at on Saturday. We're going to be following along on this basic theme, but the two Saturday sessions will be self-contained, so you can encourage people to come along for that who may not have been out during the week. And we're going to look at one family in the Bible, uh, Jacob's Dirty Dozen. And we're going to think about what Jacob said about them in his blessing of the twelve tribes, and only grace would call it a blessing because it's more a curse than a blessing. And then we're going to go over to the book of James. Now, James is the New Testament Jacob. See, Jacob in Greek is James. And, uh, Jacob writes his letter to the twelve tribes scattered, doesn't he? And when you read it carefully, you'll discover that Jacob of the New Testament answers to Jacob of the Old Testament. Well, what's the, who's the first son of Jacob? Reuben. And what does it say about Reuben back at the end of Genesis thirty three, uh, thirty two? He is unstable as water. And what's the first thing James talks about in James chapter one? People who are unstable as water, right? And, uh, and God's solution to it. And, and what's, who are the next ones mentioned? Two brothers. Simeon and Levi are brothers, and what's their problem? Cruelty and wrath, isn't it? And what's the next thing James talks about in James chapter one? The wrath of man works not the righteousness of God. Is that right? So I think we're going to have a good time, uh, taking a look at, uh, at the solutions. You know, in Ja- in Jacob's boys, we have every character type you can imagine, every personality problem you can, you can imagine in those boys. And we're going to go over and see the secret of the blessed family life from the book of James, uh, as it answers to the twelve sons of Jacob as we have them for us in, uh, the book of Genesis. So I hope that'll be a good time for us and, uh, instructive. Of course, James is the man who, you know, good old beat around the bush James, huh? No, James gets right to the point. He tells it like it is. So I trust we'll have a, a good time studying through those two chapters, uh, those two sections. Obviously just an introduction, but I hope it'll be helpful to us. Well, let's read together here in Ephesians chapter five, and, uh, we're going to read in at verse... We really ought to read the whole chapter, but, uh, we're going to read in at verse, um, Fifteen. See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time because the days are evil. All right, number one, that's what we talked about last evening. A careful use of our time. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. Number two, a willingness to go God's way, to understand his purposes and to cooperate with him. All right? A willingness to go God's way, careful use of time, a willingness to go God's way. And then, verse eighteen, uh be not drunk with wine wherein is excess, but be filled with the Spirit. All right? A yielding to the influence of the Spirit. That's number three. Verse nineteen, speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. All right, number four: a joyful spirit. Verse twenty: Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. A thankful attitude. Verse twenty one. See, that's where we usually start here, and that's why it's so tough to swallow, because we start at the submission part. We ought to start a little earlier, you see? In the light of all these things, a careful use of our time, a willingness to go God's way, a yieldedness to the direction of the Spirit, a a joyful heart, and a thankful attitude, then submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. You see the difference that makes? I mean, when we're thinking about, um, how the Lord has given us the time to live for him, he's given us the revelation of his will, he's given us his indwelling spirit, he's given us the secret of joy. He's given us all things richly so that we can be thankful about everything. Now, can't you submit to somebody like that? Well, that's the secret, you see. If you start with the submission part without understanding that God has made every provision beforehand, once we discover that, it's not a difficult thing. Now, that principle is going to be mirrored again in the next section, where he's going to tell the man to love his wife as his own body, to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, to nurture and cherish her. And when he concludes by saying in verse thirty three, um, see that the wife reverends her husband, well, it's a lot easier to swallow. It's sweetened up a fair bit by now, isn't it? If you simply say to the wives, now you submit to your husbands, well, that's not very, a very easy thing to do. But on the other hand, if the husband is following through with what the Lord has given to him, then we see that it's not such a difficult thing after all, is it? But let's read what, what the scripture says here. Verse twenty two: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particularly, in particular, so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, that it may be well with thee and that thou mayest live long on the earth. And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling and singleness of heart, of your heart as unto Christ, not with eye service as men-pleasers, but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with goodwill, doing service as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that whatsoever good thing anyone does, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free. And it goes on to talk about the masters and their responsibility to recognize they have a master in heaven. Finally, he says, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might, put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore, take unto you the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. And he goes on to describe the armor that's available to us. Now, it's an interesting thing to me that the description that's given of the warfare and the armor immediately follows the family. Uh, we sometimes link it up somehow with the living in the world, with, uh, the church life and so on, but in actual fact, uh, Paul links it up here quite significantly with family life. You understand the master servant thing was also a home situation, servants that were in the home, and he was speaking of those who were in the home but were not members of the family, how they ought to behave in the home. So it's, it's a, it's a picture of the home. And having spoken about that, he says, we wrestle against spiritual wickedness in high places. There is a concerted battle to destroy the home. Well, we know that, don't we? How then are we going to prepare ourselves to stand against the enemy. As we think about this, uh, section in Ephesians, of course, we know that there is a comparable passage, a parallel passage in the Colossian Epistle, as the apostle writes to the saints there, and we'll be thinking back and forth. It's, it's considerably shorter there. This whole middle section that explains the relationship between Christ and the church, uh, is not there in the Colossian Epistle. Uh, but basically we cover the same areas. There are a few different words that are used, uh, relative to, uh, relationships, and we'll think about that, uh, as we go along. I'd like to begin by thinking with you about our objective. Remember, we have the target, and we're sending the arrows toward the target, and of course, that in a general kind of way, that target is that we want our children to go after God, to live for his glory, to seek to please him in all their ways. But I think it would be good for us, at least in some general terms, and you can change the list and scribble some out and add your own, whatever you like, but it's good to think about what are our objectives. We only have the children for a short period of time, or our grandchildren, perhaps even shorter period of time. What are the kinds of things we would like to inculcate into our children? That's a good question to ask, isn't it? What would you like to see accomplished? Now, a teacher, when students come in at the beginning of the year, she's worked up a study plan. She knows what she wants to accomplish by the end of the year, and you have parents come to you and sit down in front of you, and they say, you're able to say to them, this is what we're planning on for the coming year, and the by the end of the year, we want the children to be able to do this, this, this, this, and this. Do we have any kind of an idea? I mean, are are we simply saying, well, you know, we keep the kids in clothes and food and make sure they wash behind their ears and, uh, hopefully eat with a fork before they get married? I mean, what what what objectives do we really have? What would we like to see develop in our children? I think that's a good question to ask, isn't it? Well, one of the things that we want to see, and we're, we're going to see this over and over again in this section, is respect for authority, right? The Lord, the Lord, the Lord. He's brought all the way through this chapter. We read about him over and over again. Listen, um, verse seventeen, understanding what the will of the Lord is. Uh, verse, uh, nineteen, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Verse twenty, um, giving thanks in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Uh, verse, uh, twenty two, uh, wives submitting to their husbands as unto the Lord. Um, all the way through the section, uh, into the next chapter, children, obey your parents in the Lord. This is right. Uh, verse four, fathers nurturing and admonishing them, uh, up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Uh, doing your service as to the Lord. Be strong in the Lord all the way through. So the issue of authority is obviously a big issue, isn't it? It's a big issue in the world. The overthrow of authority. Wherever you find authority, whether it's policemen, government leaders, school teachers, uh, elders in the local church, there is an overthrow of authority. I don't have to do what you tell me. And you see these little kids, two years old, defying their parents. One of the things we want to develop in our children, it is, it is child abuse of the highest order to send your children out into the world without teaching them respect for authority. I mean, you're throwing them up against God. Now, it's our privilege to take our children and gently and tenderly teach them submission to authority in the home, because if they won't submit to their earthly father, they'll have a tremendously difficult time submitting to their heavenly father. So that's one of our responsibilities. That should be one of our objectives. So it's a kindness to the child. It's a, it's a the greatest blessing we can give them to teach them how to happily submit to authority. Obedience is the happy way, isn't it? Trust and obey. There's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey. That should be one of our objectives, teaching them respect for authority. Secondly, as we've noticed, um, in uh, in verse sixteen, teaching them a responsible use of time. Again, people fritter away their days and their hours, you know, three, four hours watching the television, never think anything of it. Um, going and spending a whole day playing golf, think nothing of it. Well, uh, we ought to plan our recreation, recreation. There are times when we need to come apart and rest. We need to be refreshed and encouraged. The question is, is our objective in life simply to do the minimum amount of work so we can do the maximum amount of play? That's what the world thinks, isn't it? That's not what the Christian thinks. A responsible use of our time. We will give an account for every idle word, for every moment, for every penny, for every opportunity, for every good book we had in our home that we didn't read. Yeah, you'll give an account for that. It's a stewardship. Every opportunity, every resource, we- we'll give an account for it. And so, uh, he, the Lord gives us the privilege of teaching our children the responsible use of our time. And then thirdly, good financial stewardship. Again, we don't want our children thinking the way the world does about money. As they say, in the world, people, uh, the tendency is to love money and use people instead of loving people and using money. The scripture says, using the world but not abusing it. It is a stewardship. It's not my money. Say, well, the ten percent, that's the Lord's money, the rest is mine. No, it's all the Lord's. Every penny you use, you'll give an account for it. And we want to teach our children a responsible use of money. And that means that at a certain point, we stop using the silly little argument, we can't afford it. Well, suppose you could afford it, would you go and buy it then? Assuming you could afford it. You see, that's a cop-out, isn't it? Uh, instead of saying we can't afford it, to say, well, I don't think the Lord wants us to get it. I mean, if he did, we'd have the money for it, maybe. But I don't think the Lord wants us to have this. I don't think it's a wise use of our money. And not only, um, financial stewardship as far as acquiring things, but looking after the things we do have. And a wise purchase of things. Some people think it's, uh, they're to be praised because they go out and buy cheap stuff that falls apart in six months. But you might spend a little more money and have something for a lot longer. On the other hand, that doesn't mean we go out and buy the most lavish thing we can buy either. It's this wisdom that's from above that we need in handling our, our funds, and we want to teach our children that. If we never give them any money, they'll never learn it. They get out on their own, and then the money runs through their fingers, and we wonder why. Well, we never entrusted them with anything. On the other hand, to give them everything that they ask for is, is an unreal scenario. They go out into the world and they realize, hey, uh, it's not like that. We've got to work hard for what we have, and we have to spend it wisely, and it all belongs to the Lord, and I'll give an account for every penny. So we want to think about that too, and inculcate in our children, uh, good financial stewardship. Uh, taking responsibility for our actions. Again, teaching our children that for every action there is a consequence. And if we keep protecting our children from those consequences, they forget their book at school. Mom, I need my book. Oh well, I'll be right over. Jump in the car, take the book over. There we are, all fixed. Well, I mean, show a little grace, but if this is a recurring habit in the life, it's not a kindness to the children to always protect them from consequences. They have to learn that in life, if you sow something, you reap something, and we want to teach them that. Now, let's remember grace. Isn't it a good thing that when we sow wild oats, the Lord usually gives us a bad crop? We don't get much of a harvest. If we got, for every, uh, wind we sowed, we got a whirlwind, we'd be torn apart long ago. The Lord is very gracious and doesn't give us much of a return on our wild oats, and that's a good thing. But on the other hand, we need to graciously teach our children that, um, when they take action, there will be consequences to that action. This was one of our concerns with Sunday school curriculum. A lot of these Sunday school stories, they told about some nasty thing happening, but it was always a happy ending. Well, the Bible doesn't teach it that way. The Bible teaches that there are direct consequences to our behavior. Uh, another area that we certainly would want to teach our children is being selective in their friendships. Bad friends corrupt good morals. And, uh, you know what they say, you hang around eloquent people, you'll, you'll end up eloquent. Hang around wise people, you'll end up wise. Hang around rich people, you'll pick up the tab and die poor. I don't know what that had to do with anything, but, uh, anyway, but the point is that the people you hang around with affect your life, don't they? They touch, they impinge on your life. And uh, my great-grandmother told my grandfather one time, he came running home, the police were after some of his friends, and uh, and he came running in huffing and puffing, and she asked him about it, and he told her, and she said, well, if you hadn't been hanging around the crow- with the crows, you wouldn't have got shot at. And uh, if you, if you are not careful in selecting your friends, uh, show me your friends, and I'll show you what you're going to be in a few years. So it's important for our children to be wise in the selection of their friendships. Um, a disciplined walk with the Lord, learning to read the Bible daily, learning to pray, keeping short accounts with God, confessing their sin. We would want our children to learn that. Now, do you teach children to pray before they get saved? Well, absolutely. Um, it's not a matter of, uh, waiting until they get saved. We want to inculcate in them good habits right from the beginning. And, uh, many a time, the word of God is sown away in their hearts before they're saved, and for years they don't get saved. And then when they do get saved, all of this harvest comes forward, you know, all of a sudden these rich things that they've learned in their childhood, uh, come to the fore and begin to develop in their lives. So we, we do want to teach our children a disciplined walk with the Lord. Again, you can't teach them that if you're not doing it. You read your Bible, I never see you read yours. You know, the children have to see it in, in our lives, and they will learn that this is, this is the happy way to live, but we need to teach them that, a disciplined walk with the Lord. A positive life view. Now, I'm not saying we ought to all go out and buy, um, you know, Norman Vincent Peale's book or something, but there is something clearly taught in scripture, and that is that, uh, it's good to have a joyful spirit, and there's no reason for a child of God not to have a joyful spirit. Now, here's Paul, all in Asia turned away from him, hounded by the, the government, uh, whipped within an inch of his life, beaten almost to death, uh, endless problems, weeping through the night over the condition in the church, and yet he said this, as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing. And you can't help but read Paul's epistles, and you know that in spite of the grief and sorrow of his life, he was a happy man. He, he, he wasn't a crepe hanger. And our children need to see that. Uh, speaking to yourself, the first indication of a spirit-filled life. Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. First indication. I wrote an editorial about this not too long ago, where Brother Jamer Perry, he came over to help me with some, uh, redecorating. We were putting up some paneling, and and after a couple of days he said to me, Nicholson, what's wrong with you? I said, where would you like to start? And he said, well, I've been here for two days now, and I haven't heard you sing once. I said, brother, you're right. Let's sing. What do you want to sing? We sang our way through the next two or three days. The, the, the hours flew by. Singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord. It ought to be a characteristic of our lives, giving thanks always for all things unto the Lord. I mentioned my grandfather Robertson the other night, uh, when I suppose it was maybe four or five years before he died. Uh, we were sitting talking one day, and we got talking about a certain problem and some brethren in the area that had caused some difficulty, and he, he stopped right in mid-sentence and said, uh, but, but of course we closed the complaint department years ago. And he just changed the conversation and went on with something else. It's a good thing to close the complaint department, isn't it? And, and to have a happy spirit. There's no reason why Christians should be going around morose. People say, well, of course, happiness now, of course, that that's not what we want, is it? It's joy. Yeah. Well, because happiness has to do with happenings. Well, quite frankly, brother, I've had a few good happenings in my life, haven't you? We ought to be joyful, of course, but we ought to be happy people too. There ought to be that spring in our step and that anticipation. This could be the day. The Lord's coming back. All is well with my soul. Th- there's not a thing that can happen to me today, but it hasn't first gone through the heart of God. My life is edited, and nothing touches my life, but it isn't the perfect will of God. I mean, we have got so much to be thankful for. One of the first indications of depression is a lack of thankfulness. I sat down with a woman one day. She was in deep, deep depression, and I said, now I've given, I'm going to give you a little homework. I want you to make a list of ten things you can be thankful for. She had a thousand things to be thankful for. Her husband had never been out of work a day in his life. He was a faithful husband to her, a good provider. She had a lovely family. They were all healthy. She had grandchildren. One of her sons was an elder in our assembly. Her daughter was a lovely soul. She had health. So she had all these imagined ache- aches and pains, you know? One of those, uh, persons who, when they die, put on their gravestone, I told you so. But basically, she had lived a pretty healthy life, you know? But she got down, looking down, looking in, looking at others. It is a desperate thing when that happens. I called her up a week later, and I said, uh, you were supposed to call me back when you had those ten things written down. She said, well, I've got two." See what had happened? She lost her thankful spirit. If you've got to keep a little book and write down the things to be thankful for, and when you feel down, open it up and read it, and you'll discover. Count your blessings, name them one by one. It'll surprise you what the Lord has done. Sometimes, if we would magnify our blessings the way we do our troubles, we'd be a lot better off, wouldn't we? Yeah, we've got lots to be thankful for, and God's people ought to be happy people. There's a fellow down in the Bahamas. I don't know what his real name is, but everybody just calls him Happy Bryce. I mean, the world, that's what they call him, Happy Bryce. What a testimony to the grace of God. You go into his little, he's a an auto mechanic. You go in there on a blistering hot day, he's lying under a car working, singing the Lord's praises. I I wish that were true of me. It's a great thing for our children to grow up in a home where we have a happy spirit. I have no right to inflict myself on people around me, to to rob them of their happy spirit, to rob them of their joy and contentment, because I can't somehow get my eyes above the clouds. It seems that some people have a knack of, you know, finding a, a gray cloud behind every silver lining. It doesn't matter what good things there are, they always find the downside to it. God help us to find the upside and to be characterized by a joyful spirit and to, uh, to communicate that to our children. In other words, look for ways to turn negatives into positives. Instead of don't do that and don't do that, try to tell them what you do like. Say, I really appreciate when you do that, and they'll get the point. They'll understand that you don't like what they're doing right now by telling them that when they do it the other way, you really like it that way. They're not really out to ruin your life, you know. That's not their m- main goal in life. And I think if we could be a little more positive in our approach, and... I mean, when was the last time you told your kids you really loved them? When was the time, last time you told them that you appreciated them and, and that you believe that God brought them into your life so that you could learn about the Lord, and that they were teaching you lessons? They need to hear that, and thank God for opportunities still to do such. Learning to treat the body as the Lord's. Now, we're living in a day when people think nothing of putting tattoos on their bodies, of sticking s- spikes through their tongues or through their cheek or through their nose or you name it, because, hey, it's my body and I can do with it what I want. Well, listen, for a Christian, this is not my body. It's his body, and I want to use it in a, in a sensible way so that I'm in shape to do the Lord's will, to look after my body, uh, for his sake, and to recognize that, um, this body was given to me as a vehicle to accomplish the will of God, and I want to keep it holy for him, to teach our children that, uh, everywhere they go is a double date, and the Lord's there, and, uh, he knows. And when the scripture says that a man ought not to touch a woman, uh, it means that, uh, a man ought not to touch a woman. That is, he ought not to touch her in a sensual way. And the reason is, of course, that, uh, when a man is motivated by what he sees, and when he sees something that stimulates him, his, his heart catches fire, and then a woman is motivated by what she feels, and when the man touches the woman, she catches fire, and then you have a forest fire, and there's nobody to put it out. We need to tell our children that. We need to be discreet. We don't have to get into gory details, as some people tend to do, but we need to warn our children that the Lord is there, uh, wherever we go, the Lord is there, and he's there as a resource. He's not there spying on us. He's there standing by saying, here, do you need this? Well, then here, that's what, here, I'll pass it on to you. And he's there to provide the resources so they don't have to fall, so they don't have to crumble under the pressure, so they don't have to conform. But the Lord is there to help them. Uh, uh, treating the body as the Lord's, and then treating others with respect, whatever color, creed, background, to recognize that they are loved above. They are the object of divine favor. Christ died for them, and there are many disreputable characters in the world. There are many people that are hard to get along with, but if I can just remind myself that this person is a person for whom Christ died, I won't be able to speak ill of them. I won't be able to think ill of them, uh, because I'll recognize that the Lord loves them as much as he loves me. What are kids looking for in parents? What would they like from a parent? Well, I think one of the things that I appreciated about my folks, uh, was that they were consistent. They weren't perfect, but they were consistent. And if they got off the line and did something that was inconsistent, they were prepared to come back and say, oops, sorry, we missed there. Let's, let's try that again. Children are not made in one incident, you know? I mean, you don't become a mass murderer because, uh, somebody flew off the handle and threw a newspaper at you. Uh, a character is in development over a long period of time, and even though we make mistakes along the way, we we all make our share of them. As long as parents are moving in a certain direction, they're consistent, the children know that it's their good that's at stake, that their parents are interested in their spiritual well-being, uh, the children can take it, you know. Children are quite resilient, and if you make a mistake, they're quite prepared to forgive you and carry on as if it never happened. One of the great things about little children, of course, is, and we've got a question here about, uh, sparing the rod and spoiling the child, where does corporal punishment come into the picture? Uh, of course, the Lord has designed the human body so that the two largest muscles are appropriately placed, the gluteus maximus muscles, uh, so that, uh, a child may feel the discipline without being damaged. There's no place for taking a swing at someone's head or whatever it might be, um, j- jerking and shaking and all that sort of thing. Uh, I think the Lord has designed the human body in such a way that there is a place where, um, uh, love may be administered in a, uh, in a positive way, but in a way that, uh, children get the point, but, um, uh, they're not physically damaged by it. And I personally think that, uh, uh, corporal punishment is a necessary form of discipline, as Solomon says in Proverbs thirteen twenty four, he that spares the rod hates his son. But we should remember what the rod is, shouldn't we? Uh, what does Psalm twenty three four say? Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Now, comfort, of course, means confortus, add strength. The rod and staff was designed to preserve and protect and aid the sheep in its process, in its, in its path, you see? And so when the rod is used, it's not used to vent my spleen. It's not used so I can get my anger out. That's not the point of it. And if we have time, we'll go over to Hebrews chapter twelve, and we'll see that, that child training doesn't begin with the rod. That's the last step, you see? I mean, I ought to be able to speak to my children, and they should respond, not the third or fourth time, the first time. If you, if you program them to think mom and dad don't mean it, say, please do this. No. Oh, come on. Hey, now wait a minute. That's not my role. I'm not pleading with them, I'm telling them. It's their responsibility to obey, and if they don't obey the first time, then by putting it off, all I'm doing is conditioning them to think they can get away with it. That's not a helpful thing. And the scripture says that if you discipline your child, you bring rest to your own soul. It- it wears parents out if they are constantly bickering with their kids, eh? And so to say, I expect you to do it now. They don't do it, excuse me, now. And if they don't do it then, then there may be a subsequent step. Now, the Lord works with us that way, doesn't he? He, he doesn't begin by spanking us. He begins by guiding us with his eye, right? I used to sit up right beside my dad at the dining room table, and we had a lot of folks over to our house, and, uh, I used to think that I had quite a sparkling wit, you see? And so I would try to impress the visitors, and nobody was impressed. Um, and my father would give me the eye. You know what I mean, eh? But I would just ignore it, pretend it hadn't happened, and I'd just carry along, and and then he would lean over sometimes, and just as I was ready to put some food in my mouth or whatever, he'd bump my elbow. And sometimes the spoon would clatter out of my hand, or I'd drop my food, and well, that wouldn't slow me down. So, uh, then he would reach under the table with, he always wore these big brogues, you know, and he would give me a crack just under the ankle. And if I didn't stop then, and he'd say, son, it's uh, it's time to go to bed. Dad? Sorry, son. Bedtime. Now, I think that's how the Lord works with us, and I think if we learn to listen to the soft voice of God, he'll never have to yell at us. Thou will guide me with thine eye. That's the idea. In fact, the psalmist puts it this way, keep me as the apple of thine eye. You know what the word apple is? It's the word little man. Keep me as the little man in your eye. That's where we get our word pupil. You see, if, if the teacher's looking at the pupil and the pupil's looking at the teacher and there's nothing between, if you look into the eye of the teacher, you see the pupil. Right? The little man. There's a reflection in the eye. Like the little girl who climbed up on her mummy's knee and said, uh, mummy, am I in your heart? Yes, you are, honey. Could I see me in there? No, I don't think so. The little girl climbed up and peered into her mother's eyes and said, I can see me, mommy. I am in there. That was the reflection in the eye. Keep me as the apple of thine eye. The idea is there's nothing between my soul and the Savior, but if there is something, then I can't be led by his eye. Now, if I had listened to my father's eye, no one else at the table would have known, right? And if our children learn that, if they learn to respond in obedience, not to what they must do, but because they want to please their parents, then things go on in the home quietly and happily, and nobody ever has to see the discipline. It's just a look, a smile, an indication, a word, and everything's handled that way. And that's the happy way to live. Sometimes it doesn't happen that way, and the will rises up, and we all know it in our own hearts, in our relationship to our Father. And so sometimes what the Lord has to do is he has to, uh, speak a little more loudly. He may have to knock something out of our hands. He may take something away from us that we value, maybe an embarrassment to us, in order to get our attention. It may be a job, it may be a relationship, it may be some money, it may be any one of a number of things, but in order to get our attention, he may knock something out of our hands. And sometimes we have to do that with our children, withdraw something that they appreciate. Well, uh, honey, I'm sorry, I wanted to read you a book tonight, but I think tonight you're just going to have to go straight to bed. And we have to stand by that for their good, so that they will understand consistent behavior, uh, has its benefits. Obedience is the path of blessing. If, um, if I'd listened to my father when he bumped my elbow, then he wouldn't have had to go the next step further, which was that he had to touch my body in a rather painful way in order to get my attention. I'm quite attached to my body, maybe you are to yours. And so, uh, and again, this has to be handled carefully because, as we understand, children are all different. Now, I have some children, if I look at them, they start to wail. They really, I mean, they'd make it in Hollywood. And they, they're really, really seem to be truly repentant, but in some cases it's just a ploy to avoid dealing with the issue. I have one child, and I could spank them within inch, an inch of their life, and they'd never weep. It doesn't mean they're not repentant. It doesn't mean they're hard. It just means that, well, they don't show a lot of external emotion at all, one way or another. So we have to learn to know our children, don't we? When the scripture says train up a child in the way they should go, I don't think it necessarily means teaching the Bible verses and all that sort of thing. It may include that. I think what it's saying is we ought to know our children in such a way that we can direct them in the way that is best for them. In other words, you know what God has in mind for them. Oh, a, a tragic example, um, a woman who longed for her daughter to be a nurse. Her daughter didn't want to be a nurse, but she wanted her daughter to be a nurse, living out her dreams in her daughter. Her daughter became a nurse. Wasn't just a nurse, she had to be a geriatric nurse. She ended up in Phoenix, Arizona, in a geriatric ward. She wasn't the type. She wasn't cut out for it. Every time one of her patients died, which was like every other day, a little bit of her died. She got deeper and deeper and deeper in distress. She would call me up, and we would spend hours on the phone, and I'd try to drag her out of the hole she was in, you know, get her eyes on the Lord. She'd get a little encouraged, and then she'd call up the next time. Eventually, she hung herself. I took the funeral. She's a true believer. The scripture says, comfort the small-souled, the feeble-minded. That's the word, small-souled. Comfort, confortis, add strength to the small-souled. There are some people that don't have a big capacity for sorrow or grief or joy or anything else. They overflow quickly, and we need to know what our child's capacity is. And some children have a little capacity, and some have a big capacity, and we have to know it. And that's where the scripture says, don't frustrate your children, because sometimes we expect them to be adults, to act like, well, they're not, they're children. And we have to know the difference between being childlike and childish, between being carefree and careless, right? Sometimes children are just carefree, and and we come down hard on them, and we we crush their little spirits. It's one thing to have a broken will, it's another thing to have a broken spirit, and we don't want to break their spirits. We don't want to put them in a situation where they feel like it was the best I could do, and obviously it wasn't good enough. We have to know what their capacities are and treat them where they are. Know our children. That means we have to spend time with them. We have to ask them their questions. We have to listen to them. What do they like to do? What are the books they like to... little child, as you can imagine, a very sad childhood. Um, my, my sister now, she did backflips to please my father. My dad had to kick her out of the nest. When she got married, she'd come back and ask my dad what she should do. He said, go ask your husband. See? That was my sister's spirit, wanted to please my dad. Uh, me, I was the, the lawyer, see? And I'd come in, and he'd tell me what to do, and I'd battle him right to the wall. What do we do that for? Why? Well, if that, then this. And finally he'd say, look, this is not the Supreme Court. I'm your father. Do it. But I'd push him and and argue, you see, and debate with him. And now my brother, he wouldn't do any of that. If he wanted to do something, he was real quiet. He'd just go and do it. He wouldn't ask my dad, see. He didn't exactly want to please my dad, but he didn't want to face up to him either, so he'd just kind of do it on the side, you see? Now, thank, by the grace of God, we're all going on for the Lord. Man, are we different. And yet, I mean, we're all related, and there's a fair bit about us. You'd say, well, yeah, they're all Nicholsons, but we are all very different. If my dad had treated my brother like he treated my sister, or if he treated my sister like he treated me, it wouldn't have worked. You've got to know your children. Well, the same is true of elders. They've got to know the sheep in the flock, know the people of God, because you go and, and lay somebody in lavender, and they'll never recover. And somebody else, you can go and beat them around the ears, and they s- they keep coming back for more. Why, thank you very much. I appreciated that. Thanks, brother. Appreciate you telling me that. Right? Every person is different, and we can't go through life saying, well, that's the way I am, so that's the way I deal with things. No, no. We need to learn to deal with the people as they are. The scripture teaches a man that he needs to know his wife. And that doesn't just mean, what is her name, you know? I mean, to know your wife is a lot more than that. To know her longings, to know how she feels. Like, I confess for years, for years, this is how long it took me to catch on. I used to go home, my wife would have some questions. I'd sit down and say, well, you know, sermon thirty seven B, here it is, point one, are you getting this, point two, three, four, five, six? And she'd get angry with me. I'd say, didn't you want the answer? Works everywhere else. People ask me a question, I just give them the answer. She didn't want answers. She didn't want to be treated clinically, like the doctor is in. She wanted me to care. She wanted me to feel her pain, you know? And I thought, well, what she wanted was an answer. She didn't want an answer. She wanted me to hear what she was feeling and to care, care about what she was feeling and to feel it with her. Took me years to get it. I mean, that's one of the best things a man could get when he got married, is a little, um, you know, they have these German-English dictionaries, English-French, they ought to have a man-woman dictionary. So you translate it, you know? Like, it would be real helpful. When, when you ask a man what's wrong, he says nothing. You know what he means? Nothing. You ask a woman what's wrong, she says nothing. What does she mean? Does she mean nothing? Oh no. She means something, but you better be real careful how you ask me. Now, how am I supposed to know that? You know? Well, you have to learn it, and I guess everybody has to learn it the hard way. I don't know, but if you don't learn it, you can live in the same house, you never know each other. You can't help each other, and that's the objective. My objective, my role is not to make my wife better, because you know what I'd do? I'd make her like me. That would be a tragedy. And her job isn't to change me to be like her. Our objective is to minister Christ to each other in these practical ways that we read about in Ephesians five. in such a way that my wife becomes more like Christ, not more like me, and I become more like Christ. And the more we become like Christ, well, then the Lord knits our hearts together, doesn't he? The same is true of our children. I need to get to know my children. Now, it seems to me that I could take all the problems, family problems in the world, if we could get them in one building, I could give each person in that auditorium two words, and if we do that, all our problems would be solved. Is that right? I think so. Again, we come back to this, this basic principle that we read last evening. I'm afraid for you, lest you be beguiled from the simplicity that's in Christ. You know, there's some of these seminars you go to, and you get these books with twelve of these, and nine of those, and seven of those, and eight of those. I don't think we can live like that. You know, you got a problem, quick. Which, you know, which set of fifteen things are we supposed to be looking at now? I don't think Christian- Christianity is like that. I think there are a few very simple principles, all-pervading principles that touch every area of our lives. And here are the words now, listen. As far as a marriage is concerned, here are the two words. Leave and cleave. Is that right? For this reason, you leave and cleave. Now, to leave wasn't a geographical thing. I mean, Isaac lived in the same next tent to Abraham. Um, and many, of course, in rural societies, uh, the father and son worked on the same farm, and one lived in this house, and one lived in a house on the other end of the lane. Or maybe they lived in the same house, which isn't always the best situation. And we can talk about that when we look at people like Naomi. Now there's a classic mother-in-law. That's how it ought to be, where she was supportive of the couple, where she encouraged the couple, and she was there to help and to encourage. She enhanced the home life, but she didn't, um, damage the family integrity by diluting, by watering down, um, the situation by her intrusion. Um, this is a, an area of life that we're going to have to look at. A lot of parents, uh, a lot of people grow up and they think they've, their parents are out on their own, and then the parents come back to live with them. And, uh, the scripture is quite clear that, that we ought to look after our parents. And, uh, it's not always the way to ship them off somewhere else, is it? There are times when they need to be looked after in a healthcare, uh, situation, and so be it. But, uh, I'm afraid a lot of times, uh, people are just shunting their parents off and just, oh, you'll be real happy here. What they really mean is I'll be real happy with you here, and I'm just, I'm just out of here, and I'm relinquishing my responsibility. The Bible is quite clear that we are responsible for our families, and if we don't look after them, we're worse than infidels. But when parents come into the home, they have to be very sensitive to the fact that this is not the old home. This is a new home. This is a new chain of command, a new authority, and they're coming in under the roof of their son, who is the head of the home, or their son-in-law, who's the head of the home, and they better be real careful about undermining the authority of the parents with their children, or the husband with his wife, or vice versa, and watering down, diluting the integrity of the home by interfering in the home life. That's a very solemn thing, isn't it? And of course, grandparents can do that without living in the home. They come for a visit, and the father and mother discipline the children, and grandparents say, oh honey, don't do that, or something to that effect. That's, I mean, you might as well lob a grenade into the middle of the living room. That's atrocious to do that. Basically saying to the children, you don't have to take your parents seriously. Don't, can't you remember that far back when your parents did things like that? You had to s- took you one day for them to ruin them and six days for you to straighten them out again. So we want to be cooperative, we want to be helpful in that situation. We don't want to undermine the authority of the home. But those are the two key words, leave and cleave. It's an emotional leaving. One of the characteristics of an elder is that he's to be the husband of one wife. The word is a one-woman man, not a flirt. A man who is committed to his wife. I had a fellow come to me and say, I don't think I married the right woman. I said, well, maybe when you married her, she was the wrong woman, but now that you're married, she is the right woman. You're married to her, she's the right woman. The fact is that you can learn to love anybody. Did you know that? Yeah? I mean, the Lord even loves you. Yeah, you can. The husband is commanded to love his wife. It's something you can command people to do, right? And the woman is to be taught to love her husband. It's something that can be commanded. It's something that can be taught. So when you say, I'm sorry, I don't love you anymore, all you're saying is I am in open defiance and rebellion against the God of heaven. That's all it means. We're not talking about funny little emotional feelings. We are talking about a commitment to sacrificial living. That's what it is. To leave and to cleave. Now that means, of course, young men, when you get married, you can't carry on the way you did. I'm not talking about careless, sinful living. I'm just talking about the old relationships. Look, honey, see you later. I'm going out with the boys. That's, that's over. That's over. That's, you have to leave the old associations, the old way of living, and you have to cleave. Listen, uh, the old days of joking about marriage, joking about, you know, the guys and all the rest and wives, that's over. I go to some of these wedding receptions, they joke about marriage. Say, excuse me, knock, knock. This is nineteen ninety six, folks. Divorce rates are as high among Christians as they are among the unbelievers. No joke anymore. Uh-uh. No snide remarks about your wife when you're sitting around with a bunch of folks, you know? These people give snide remarks about their wives or husbands, and everybody goes, ha ha ha. It's not funny, and it leaves scars, leaves wounds that never really heal. So when we think about this relationship, I mean, th- these are two fairly violent acts, this leaving your father and mother and cleaving. It's sort of like hanging on for dear life here, isn't it? Cleaving to your wife. And, and it's something that establishes a happy marriage. Husbands, what are your two? Well, of course, he uses the word love over and over again, but then he explains it to us in verse twenty nine: nourish and cherish. Those are the two responsibilities of the husband. You know, really, these two words would be more, we would think, more like what you would tell a mother to do with her children, right? To nourish and cherish. Well, that's the picture that's used. To nourish is to provide to your wife the resources necessary for her to grow. To encourage her in her growth, in her development for God. It doesn't mean to stifle her, it doesn't mean to sap the life out of her. It's the other way around. There's some husbands who think that their wives exist for the, for the husband. No, he says, it's the role of the husband to nourish his wife. Think about what the Lord Jesus is in your relationship, and how he nourishes you, how he feeds you all the resources necessary so you can grow and develop and become what God intends you to be. That's the role of the husband, to encourage his wife in her ministry, to encourage his wife in the home life. See, I hear men say, I could, I could live in a tent. Say, well, so be it, brother. Pitch one out the back of your house. But the point is, you see, that a largely a woman's ministry is in the home. And so it's easy enough for you to say I can live in a tent, but a wife has the home as the vehicle of her ministry, and she needs to be encouraged in that. And, uh, if your wife has a ministry writing to missionaries, get her a little desk, get her some rolls of stamp, get her own letterhead, her own stationery, give her some time alone to write those letters. Encourage her in her ministry, um, to nourish her, and then to cherish her. And to cherish means expressing your love to her, uh, encouraging her, supporting her, speaking to her in words that build her up. Don't put her down. Easy for a man to put his wife down. It's not too many months that you're married to a woman until you know what buttons to push to get to her, you know? You can humiliate her, you can dishearten her. Way to go. You got it figured out now, do you? Push this button, I can make her sad. It's a self-inflicted wound. The best thing you can do for yourself is to nourish and cherish your wife. You know, if a wife knows that she's loved, she'll sleep on the floor for you. She'll sleep in an abandoned car with you. She'll, she'll do whatever's necessary if she knows she has the loyalty of her husband's heart. So it's wise for a man to nourish and cherish his wife, as, as the apostle says here in, um, verse, um... twenty nine, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh. In other words, it's to your own benefit, brethren, to, to, to minister to your wife so she is happy and fulfilled and encouraged and built up. And if you use words to cut her down, all you're doing is attacking your own happiness, your own joy. You see? It doesn't make sense to do that, does it? Well, uh, that's the husband's responsibility. And you'll notice in Colossians, he adds the word don't be bitter against your wife. Now, let's notice here that out of all the activities, out of all the ministries and all these words that Paul could use, he selects only two for each one, as if to say, this is an area of obvious deficiency. All right? In other words, it must be that men find it difficult to nourish and cherish. That's why he's got to underline it in red for us. Much easier for a man to plan activities. Let's do this, do that, do the other thing. It's another thing for a man to nourish and cherish his wife. It doesn't come naturally to us. We've got to be told about it. In the same way, it doesn't come naturally for a wife to submit to her husband or to reverence him. There must, there must be a reason why those particular words are used to underline the necessity of our ministry in, in the relationship between husbands and wives. I like it when I hear a man speaking well of his wife. I think it's a great thing. And I think it's a great thing when I see a wife who reverences her husband. Yeah, he's not all he's cracked up to be, you know? He's not, he's not Superman. He's got his flaws, she knows it better than anybody else, but she reverences him. She respects him. She says, uh, God has given me this husband for a special reason, and I'm going to honor him. Do you honor your husband because he's always honorable? No. You honor him for the same reason that Paul said concerning Nero, honor the king. Nero was not honorable, but someday he would give an account for the whole Roman Empire. I'd like to give an account for that. Someday your husband will give an account for the family and for you and for himself. And so to that extent, we want to honor them because of the tremendous responsibility that God has given them. So the husband is to nourish and cherish his wife, and the wife is to submit as to the Lord. Now, this is the great thing. See, it's not J. Nicholson telling you to do this. You'd say, Nicholson, why don't you go home to your own wife? I'm not telling you to submit, it's the Lord who's telling you. And this is the great thing, eh? The Lord never asks us to do a thing that he hasn't already done himself. Does he not know how to submit? Does he not know how to humble himself and be obedient? Of course he did. He humbled himself even to death on a cross. He went far further than he's asking you to go. And yet this submission is the secret of power, isn't it? The secret of influence. The submissive wife is the influential wife. Look at the Lot and Abraham. They decide to take two different paths of influence. Lot thinks, I'm going to go down to Sodom, move into Sodom, and sit in the gate, and I'll be an influence there. When God came looking for ten righteous men, he couldn't find them. Lot had not even influenced nine other men. Who was the man that had influence with Sodom? It was that humble servant of God, Abram, sitting in the tent up in Mamre, who just about saved the city by his intercession. The secret of power in the life of faith is submission, right? Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, he'll exalt you in due time. He must increase, I must decrease. So the Lord is not telling us here, this is the secret, sister, you just get down and be a, a throw rug. The Lord Jesus is telling us that the secret of my power, the reason I'm going to rule over the whole universe someday, is because I got down. This is the path of blessing, you see. Um, you know how it is with the Gentiles? Everybody has a boss, everybody's boss has a boss. So shall it not be among you. But whoever will be great in my kingdom, let him be a servant, and the one who's greatest of all is the servant of all. You got to fight your way to the bottom. Everybody's going to the top, lots of room at the bottom, nobody heading that way, but that's the secret of power. And you want to find an influential woman, she's a woman who submits herself to her husband as unto the Lord. She does it for the Lord's sake. And in doing that, she has a spiritual influence over her husband that she would never have by trying to beat it into him, you see. It's the secret of power. That's how the Lord Jesus defeated us, wasn't it? Such rebellious hearts, such sinful hearts. How did the Lord Jesus take you on? How did he overcome you? By beating it into you? He got down and died for you, and he overwhelmed you. We don't have time to look at all these others, but I mentioned them to you. The parents, two words, nurture and admonish. And, uh, he adds, as he writes to the Colossians, don't provoke them and discourage them, setting up so many barriers and obligations, uh, that you end up frustrating your children. Look for positive ways to reinforce them, to encourage them, to give them opportunities to vent their energies. Uh, creative ways to, to develop rather than simply telling them what not to do. See, there are a lot of people think holiness is what you don't do. You've heard the old line, don't drink, don't dance, don't smoke, don't play cards. That describes my dog. He's not holy. It's not a matter of what you don't do. It's positive and encouraging and leading children into opportunities of service for the Lord. Children, obey and honor. Those are their two key words. Verse one of chapter six, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for they are right. Oh, no, it doesn't say that, does it? No, sometimes they aren't right. Let's, let's not forget the Lord Jesus was a little boy, the only perfect little boy that ever lived. And he went home after having revealed the glory of God at, at, at the tender age of twelve. he went home to his parents and submitted himself to them. He was subject to them. The only perfect little boy that ever lived, subject to imperfect parents. Now, even if you're not disposed to be obedient to your parents, he gives us some good reasons to do it. First of all, because it's sensible. This is right. It makes sense for children who are inexperienced to obey their parents who are experienced. Secondly, it is scriptural. It's the first commandment with promise. There, the scripture is consistent all the way through. You know, Absalom, uh, he wanted to be remembered because he didn't have any sons, so he built a pillar to his memory outside the city of Jerusalem. Well, that actually isn't what he was remembered for. He was remembered instead of that pillar for a pile of stones that was raised over his body. It was the mark of a rebellious son. A pile of stones, stoned to death, so to speak. Although he was, he was murdered hanging, killed hanging in a tree, he was laid out in the ground, and they put a big heap of stones over him, as if to say, such is the end of a rebellious son. Well, there's a, there's a structure outside the city of Jerusalem, uh, just down in the, um, the vale that goes down towards, um, S- Siloam, and they call it Absalom's Pillar. It's not, it's a Byzantine structure, structure, but anyway, they call it Absalom's Pillar. Well, Absalom is rebe- remembered because every Jewish father that has a rebellious son, he takes the wee boy down there, see? And he stands there and he explains to his son about Absalom and the end of rebellion. And as they're standing there, they watch as the other Jews walk by, and every Jewish man that walks by will pick up a stone and throw it at it or spit at it, because that's the end of a rebellious son. God hates rebellion. Why? Because it robs us of blessing. You see? He says this is the first commandment with promise, even if you're selfish, it makes sense to do this. What is the promise? In other words, it's not just sensible and scriptural, it's beneficial for you. That it may be well with thee and that thou mayest live long on the earth. Now that, I confess, was a problem. Because I knew good young Christian people who died when they were young. You know? I mean, is this some kind of a guarantee of longevity if you live a good life? I knew some rascals that lived a long time, and it just didn't seem to fit. Until one day I was reading a book on the catacombs, and I read about a young Christian who died in his early twenties. It had his name and the fact that he belonged to the Lord, and underneath it said, he lived long enough. I thought, that's it. If you're a rebel, you'll never live long enough to fulfill the will of God. You'll never live long enough to fulfill God's purpose for your life. But if you are obedient to your parents, and therefore submit to God's authority, it doesn't matter at what age you li- uh, how long you live, you will fulfill the purpose for which God created you. You'll live long enough. So we have these words, and and, you know, we could, of course, expand on them a fair bit more, but just to think about them carefully. The husband's responsibility to nourish and cherish his wife. The wife to submit and to revere her husband. The parents to nurture and admonish. Notice the order here. Nurture and admonish. And the children to obey and honor their parents. Well, we, uh, we did it again. It's nine o'clock. Uh, I answered one of the questions in my session, and the other question I'll answer very briefly. To what extent should sports be used in connection with Christian activities, time-wise, money-wise, and in which pile would you put it, put sports? Well, um, First Timothy chapter four verses seven and eight says that physical activity is profitable for a little. It's good, and we all need physical activity, and some of us, preacher included, need a little more than a little less. Uh, the point of Paul's argument to Timothy is this, that we can, uh, uh, expend ourselves in physical energy, which does have benefit, but only in time. But spiritual activity is good for time and eternity. So if you can put the two of them together, what a great idea. You need some physical exercise? Uh, take your son and go out and knock on doors. You'll have physical activity, you'll spend time with your son, and you'll get to visit some people in the community with some gospel literature. How's that? We're talking about sports activity, and uh, you know, in the US, of course, a lot of this has just really got out of hand. I went to one assembly, and they told me, be sure we s- we've moved the meeting up a half an hour, be sure and finish right on time because there's a big game on tonight. I was really tempted to go over time. You know, uh, wait a minute now. I mean, I'm not saying it's a sin to watch a hockey game, but like, is this what we live for here? Uh, what's it going to matter in the end, right? Now, if you can use it as an opportunity, I mean, Paul obviously was familiar with the Roman games. He used a lot of descriptions about running the race and not beating the air. What a picture. You know what he says? He says, I, I fight not as one who beats the air. In other words, in everything I do, I want to make impact. See? I want it to count. I'm not, I don't want it just a shadow box. Well, if that's true, then when we were over in Ireland this, this last year, you'd go into some of these, these, uh, estates, you know, these poor houses, and they all had a little green. And if you got up there and started preaching the gospel, they just all walked the other way. We had a bunch of young people, and they'd bring a soccer ball, start kicking the ball around, and pretty soon we had forty kids there, as many as we could handle, and they'd play soccer with them for half an hour and then say, hey, how'd you like to hear a story? Sure, they'd sit down on the grass, and there they had it, and they give them the gospel. I say, hey, go to it. The problem is, a lot of times, what we do is we'll have an hour of a sports activity and then sanctify it with fifteen or ten or five minutes of, of religious talk, you know. Well, I'm not so sure that that's the grand objective. I think, um, when we're, when we're seeking to minister to young people today, uh, we have to give them opportunity to vent their energies and that sort of a thing, but we always ought to keep the objective clear, and we always keep asking that question, what is the point? What are we doing here? Um, I know some places that would say, you know, you should never do that. That's some kind of a ploy or a trick. Well, I don't know. And the Lord was always talking about sitting down at meat, you know, putting food on the table to get people to come. It seemed he knew that that would bring people. And, and how many times the Lord sat at meat with people, or he'd go to the woman at the well, give me to drink. That's where she was, right? That's what she was interested in. So he did something she was interested in and, uh, talked about that, and then he got to what he was interested in and presented to her the gospel. So I, I don't think it's a wicked thing. Uh, for my own self, raising our children, we found that it was best, and went in my own life, found it best not to get the kids involved in, uh, extra activities outside of just the intramural sports. You know, there's lots of activity they could perform, but what happens is they start playing on Saturdays, they start playing on Sundays. Uh, you've seen those bumper stickers, uh, if, if the mother's place is in the home, why do I spend all my time in the van, you know? And the mothers end up just shuttling kids here, there, and everywhere, spending all their time running around. Uh, it it gives the child the impression that my parents exist for me, and that's not a good thing either, is it? So, again, in moderation, it's good for children to have physical activity and to be, uh, to be happy and to have opportunity, but, um, a lot of this organized sport, they take the children and they, they put such tremendous pressure on them, it, it's, it loses its objective. So as far as using it in evangelism, well, I mean, it's not my ministry, but, uh, there are some people that use it, and, and I know that there are many people who've been reached. They came for a ball game, they heard the gospel, they got saved, and, uh, and are going on well for the Lord. So I'm not gonna, uh, we, you know, we have so few opportunities today where we're actually impinging in people's lives. We have these gospel meetings, and there's nobody there, you know? Well, yeah, okay, well, preach the gospel. I do it a lot, but, uh, but if we can go out and reach people in the community, then I'm all for it. What we need to do is to think about where people are at leisure and go and reach them there, in the shopping malls if we have to, or at the, I don't know, garage sales or, uh, flea markets or wherever, where people are just going to kick around anyway, and and take the gospel to them there. We're missing out, you know. We, I mean, the tent meetings were great in the old days and and open air preaching and all the rest, and I still try and do some of that, but by and large, we've lost touch with our society. We're not getting to them. We- we're not, we're not impinging on their lives. You- you got a college campus? That's a great mission field. You go out there and preach the gospel, you'll preach to more people in one event than you'll preach in your gospel meetings in two years. Is that right? Or maybe ten years. So, l- let's think about that. And it's another subject entirely, and maybe I'll take two minutes and tell you about the home as an outreach in the gospel. And I'm just going to tell you a little story on my wife. You'll think it was worth the extra two minutes. Um, she had tried to reach our neighbors. I told you about going out for the Heart Fund and how she tried to get into the neighbors' homes, but they were all kind of middle class, self-satisfied, kept the crabgrass out of the lawn, paid the mortgage, raised their kids. Thank you very much, I got my religion, you s- stay out of my. You know, a lot of people like that today. And, um, so one day my wife was down on her knees in the living room praying, and she said, Lord, y- you said that, um, if the people who were invited wouldn't come, then go out into the highways and byways and compel them to come in. I'd like to do that, but I'm at home here with the kids. So if you bring someone from the highways and byways to me, I'll witness to. Just then she heard beep, beep, beep. It was a garbage truck backing up and turning around. We lived on a corner. She looked out the window, and she saw the, the garbage man really favoring himself as he put the garbage into the truck, and she thought, boy, this fellow looks in trouble, you know? So she went out and waited by our garbage, and when he pulled up in front of our house, she ju- he jumped out of the truck. She said, what's the matter? And he said, what do you mean? She said, well, you look like you got a bad back or something. This is a bad heart. She said, well, what are you doing throwing garbage all day? He said, well, it's the only job I can get. Well, she said, here, let me. So she, my wife's quite a petite sort of a gal, but anyway, she hauled the garbage and threw it in the truck, and she said, uh, now I'm going to pray for you that God will give you a better heart or a better job. Well, he said, nobody cares about garbage, man. She said, the Lord does. So that was the end of the conversation. He got in the truck and took off, you see? Next week he came around, she was waiting for him. She threw the garbage in, and uh, and uh, so he said, did you pray for me? She said, every day. He didn't believe her. He didn't say so, but he didn't believe her. Uh, she told him, you know, you ought to apply for some other jobs, fill out some forms. If you need help, bring them around, I'll help you fill them out, see? So he goes around the block, and our Moira is just a little girl at the time. She's the kind of girl that, you know, she chases butterflies, smells the flowers, pets the dogs, talks to the garbage man, you know? That's the type she is. So she says to him, hey, we pray for you in our house. Then he believed. These are people who are praying for me, see? So the next week around the block, Louise is waiting for him again. She throws in the garbage, and uh, he gets out of the truck and he says, you prayed for me, didn't you? She said, yeah, every day. He said, you know, I believe in God and all that, but there must be another step. Is there another step? Now here my wife had been working for like three or four years with the neighbors, and the guy, third time around the gar- around the block, and he's asking what's the next step. So she explained the gospel to him. Thanks very much, jumped in the truck, and away he went. Well, she talked about his job getting another job, and so on, and away he went. So the next week he comes around, she's waiting for him, she throws in the garbage, he jumps out out of the truck and says, I did it. She said, did what? Thought maybe he'd applied for a job or something. He said, I did it, I took the next step. She thought, ah, too simple, he's missed it, he he doesn't have it, you know. So she gets me out. See, I'm supposed to bring the big guns on him and shake him up a bit, see? Well, I can't shake him. I really give him the gears, and he, he's sure he's saved. Well, Louise knows that, um, what he needs to do is get into the word. You know, if he's not saved, the word will convict him. If he is saved, it'll convince him and build him up, see? So she says, have you got a Bible? He says, no. She said, I'll go get one. He said, no, no use. Wait a minute. You should have told me this before I, I took the step. He says, I am not a reader. If that's what it takes, I can't do it. I don't even read the TV guide, so I'm not a reader. He said, you got to read. That's your food now. If you're a Christian, that's your food. Sorry. So anyway, that's pretty much the end of the con- con- uh, conversation. He gets into the truck, and away he goes, goes around the next corner, and uh, there's a big heavy box to move, and he wondered what's in this box. He opens it up. Here's a brand new Bible on the top, still in the wrapper. Okay, God, I'll read your book. So he starts to read the Bible. Well, this guy has lots of problems. He's got a drinking problem. He's got, he's got two earrings. You know, he's in his fifties. This is what you do with your boy these days. He didn't especially care for earrings, but his, his son wanted to get one, so he went and got one with his, with his boy. When I was looking for, for greeting cards, looking for a card for my new grandson, there's one says, congratulations, it's a boy. Think of all the money you'll save. Open up, it says, you only have to buy one earring. Okay. Anyway, here's this fellow, you know, and he's got all these problems, there's a marital problem and everything else under the sun, but the man is gloriously saved. His name's Reg. He shows up to our meeting one day. He works for, uh, I forget the name of the, one of the major garbage collection companies in Canada. Anyway, they give him these flaming red jumpsuits with a big logo on it. He walks into our meeting, you know? Well, see, our meeting at one time had been lower class, and then as the people, you know, they get saved and they work hard and they save their money, and hey, they kind of move up into the middle class, maybe even to the upper middle class, and we'd lost touch with the real people out there. Unto the poor the gospel is preached. We didn't make contact with those people anymore. And when Reg walked in the door, he was our contact. You know, he started to bring in all the, I mean, prostitutes and taxi drivers and, you know, all these people, broken marriages, broken dreams, broken bodies, and they all came in. He didn't know any better. They all sat in the front row. It takes a while to learn to move back, you know, and he hadn't learned that yet. They were all up in the front row there. And then then he says, he says, you know, uh, uh, I got to do double time to catch up with you people. So Tuesday night he went to the Scott Lee assembly, and Wednesday night he came to our assembly. He just couldn't get enough of it. And he loved the singing, and he loved the saints, and there weren't any problems in the assembly, not that he knew of. Everybody was great. Everybody was his brother, and, you know, and he had these little jokes he used to tell about, you know, he was sitting around in the restaurant with a bunch of his other cronies that had been converted, and and they were all, they had all been alcoholics before they were saved, you know, and somebody came over and said, what are you drinking that makes you so happy? And they said, oh, we don't drink, we're alcoholics. It was great fun, you know. And then they'd say, you know, it's the Lord, the Lord's changed us. I tell you, uh, Reg went on to to lead I don't know how many people into our assembly, that these poor broken hearts that he was in touch with, that were all his friends. He brought them in and saw them saved, and I tell you, it was one of the biggest funerals we ever had when Reg the garbage man went home to heaven. And how did it all happen? He was a a homemaker who had a burden to reach. God knows the reges of this world. He knows the people who are wondering what's the next step. The question is, do we have a willing heart, and will we look after them when they get saved? You know, that's important, isn't it? The home as a lighthouse in the community. Well, uh, I could tell you some other stories, but I'll, I'll forbear. But may the Lord encourage our hearts to realize that God's not looking for superstars. He's looking for ordinary people who will let God be great through them. Shall we pray? Father, we have to confess that we know we're in a battle, that we know that the enemy is not, uh, our husband, our wife, the elders, the other Christians, although we sometimes have our problems with them too, and they have their problems with us, that we fight spiritual wickedness in high places. And this is the enemy that we have to combat, and this is the victory that has to be won. We thank you for the tremendous resources we have. Eternal life, a home in heaven, a sure and certain hope, the indwelling spirit, the word of God, the Lord Jesus praying us home every step of the way, the fellowship of thy people, um, the songs of the redeemed to sing to thee. We have so much to give thee thanks for. We're ashamed that we go through life so often, um, really just on the shadow side of the street. How often we greet other Christians and they ask, how are you doing? And the best we can muster is not bad. Well, it sure is a lot better than that. Father, we're ashamed that we talk like that. Help us, Father, to, to rejoice in the Lord and the power of his might, and to encourage one another, to... we're, we're also, we grieve over the fact that the people who are nearest to us are sometimes the people we treat the worst. We take advantage of their love. Oh God, help us to nourish and cherish our wives. Help our dear wives to, to discover the secret of power and influence in the home by getting down as our Savior did, and, and winning our hearts and honoring us, even though sometimes we're not very honorable, but honoring us for the tremendous responsibility we have, that we bear with our children and our wives in the home. Uh, we pray for our children. They- they're taught completely the opposite in the society in which they live. You're worth it, you deserve it, you have your rights, stand up for your rights, instead of obedience and submission and honoring their parents. We pray that thou will give them grace to do it. And, uh, we we pray, God, oh God, for a raising up of godly homes in this, on this island, in this city, for lighthouses shining brightly for thee, for places of refuge, like the old city of refuge, uh, with the doors open so that those who are fleeing the avenger and the saints, the, the priests of the Lord who are weary in service may come and find a refuge there. We cry to thee, O God. We need thy help. Uh, we look to thee. Our eyes are on thee. Do in our lives and in our homes what need to be done, that our homes might be little outposts of heaven, that men and women, boys and girls coming into our homes will think of thee, that they may see our good works and glorify our Father, which is in heaven. We ask this as we thank thee for thy love and kindness and for that family into which we have been brought, where we may learn in the school of God, that we might teach others along the way. We ask in the Savior's name. Amen.